


Oceans and Stars

by Itskateak



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And Civil War? Yeah it happened but everything's fine now, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Assassination, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Goes to Therapy, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon-Typical Violence, Constellations, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Dreams and Nightmares, Everything's Okay, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Heaven & Hell, I hadn't originally put him in chap 10 but then it happened, I loved writing that actually, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Late Night Conversations, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Monopoly (Board Game), Most of this stuff is only mentioned as I don't like writing it, Natasha Romanov isn't dead either, Nightmares, No Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Partial Nudity, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Physical Abuse, Post-Endgame, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, RIP Chadwick Boseman, References to David Bowie, Sexism, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers didn't go back in time, There's angels and demons too, Tony Stark didn't die, Underwear...literally just underwear, War, and space oddity, and then nothing happens, because they're idiots, can someone count how many times I almost quote sound of music when describing rivers, does this count as a, his therapist is so good for him i swear, is mentioned like three times or something idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itskateak/pseuds/Itskateak
Summary: A story of how Bucky Barnes falls in love with oceans, stars, and the woman who gave him the reasons to.Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Female!Original Character (Velika Dante King)Do not repost, translate, or do anything transformative with this work without my permission.Based on the choral piece "Oceans and Stars" by Amy Bernon
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Velika Dante King is new to the Avengers team. It takes her time to find her place among them and to learn to trust them. Through many moments, she’s given many reasons to trust the team.
> 
> Formatting may be different here from the Tumblr version. :)  
> Oceans and Stars, Amy Bernon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaIqC9KiAwk

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𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭, 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓳𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮𝔂?

Velika Dante King stepped out of the car, hiking her bag up on her shoulder. She stared at the Avengers’ compound with intrigue. The building was large and very much influenced by Tony Stark’s technology. A group of agents was running on a track to the side of the building, a higher-up barking at them to move faster. She smiled and shut the car door.

“We’ll have your stuff taken to your room, ma’am. Captain Rogers will be waiting for you in the foyer.” Happy startled her out of her thoughts and she nodded in approval. Her first impression of Happy Hogan was that his name was ironic. He looked grumpy pretty much the whole car ride from the airport. Maybe he was stressed about something or had a bad morning. He had a good heart, though, and that allowed her to brush off his sour countenance. 

“There’s no need to call me ma’am. Miss King or Velika works just fine.” Velika said, giving him what she hoped was a friendly smile. Change was never easy for her, nor were unfamiliar environments. She wouldn’t have accepted this job, anyway, if it hadn’t been for Nick Fury’s incessant nagging. Every couple of months, he would contact her with the same proposition. After many, _many_ years, she finally caved.

“Alright, Miss King. If you would follow me, I’ll take you into the building to meet Captain Rogers.” Happy returned her smile, living up to his name for the first time since they’d met. It was brief, but it proved her theory that he had his heart in the right place.

“Thank you,” Velika said, walking behind him toward the compound. She chewed on the inside of her lip, anxiety fluttering in her chest. The building was nowhere near the compound she’d lived in for so long, but there were enough visual similarities that her jet-lagged brain was beginning to panic. She took a deep breath to steady herself and pulled her bag further up. “What should I call you? Mister Hogan? Mister Happy?”

“Just Happy, Miss King.” Happy responded as he opened the doors for her. She smiled briefly in thanks and entered the building. The air conditioning hit her immediately and she hadn’t realized how warm it had been outside. She felt a little bad for the agents running outside, but then remembered that the weather wouldn’t ever be perfect for a mission. And the fact that she had run in worse weather.

“Ah, Lieutenant King! I’m Steve Rogers.” Steve extended his hand to her once they were close enough, a friendly smile lighting up his expression. He’d grown a beard since the last time she’d seen pictures of him, and it actually really suited him. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I don’t know what Nick Fury told you, but I’m not a Lieutenant anymore. Just Velika or Miss King works. A pleasure to meet you, too.” Velika took his hand and shook it. His hand was calloused, much like hers, and his grip was strong.

“Thanks, Happy. I’m sure you have other things going on.” Steve said. Happy nodded and left them to attend to his duties as head of security. “So, how was the flight?” He gestured with his head to follow him.

“Smooth, luckily, but very long. I had the chance to stretch after landing.” Velika kept up with him easily, taking in her surroundings. 

“I’m glad it went well. We’ve had issues lately with airspace.” Steve shook his head and sighed. “That’s politics for you.”

“Gross.” Velika wrinkled her nose up and Steve barked a short laugh. “I’ve always hated politics.”

“Other people take care of that for us, now, so you don’t have to worry about it.” They started up a staircase to the right of the atrium. “That was the main foyer. It splits the building into two parts. This is our residential wing where only people granted access can visit. The team’s in the common room.”

“How many people are on the team?” Velika asked, glancing out the huge windows. The scenery wasn’t too bad. The compound seemed to be in a wooded area. 

“Our unit here is made up of eight people. Including you, that would be nine. We have a few other people who we consider apart of the team that are in other places.” Steve typed in a passcode at a pair of glass doors and opened it for her.

“And how many am I meeting today?” Velika nodded in thanks and entered the common room. She didn’t know if she could do many people today. Not until she was rested and not jet-lagged to Hell and back.

“Five, counting me. Vis and Wanda are running a mission and Bruce is taking a much-needed stress-relieving vacation.” Steve smiled before sighing in frustration. “They _were_ here. Friday, can you call the team down to the common room _again_?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers. Right away.” A disembodied voice spoke and she jumped slightly.

“Friday is the artificial intelligence program that keeps things functioning around here. She’s probably the only thing keeping Tony alive when he’s working.” Steve shook his head fondly.

“You were taking ages, Rogers!” A red-headed woman said as she entered the room. “It doesn’t take that long to get downstairs and back up. Are you getting old or something?”

“That would be Natasha Romanov,” Steve said and Natasha smiled in greeting and waved. “And yes, Nat. I _am_ getting old.”

“Nice to meet you. Bikinis or one piece?” Nat asked with a perfectly arched brow of curiosity.

“Uh, bikinis?” Velika replied in a confused tone, head cocked slightly in thought.

“She can stay.” Nat crossed her arms with a grin and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Come on, old man! Move it, Frosty!” Shouts from down the hall caught their attention. “My grandma could move faster than you and she’s been dead for twenty years.”

“Then go around me, Wilson! And stop yelling. You’ll wake your grandma from the grave.” Another voice followed, sounding very annoyed and gruff. 

“Have dumb and dumber arrived to give us all headaches or have I miraculously made it ahead of them?” Tony Stark asked as he walked in, holding a foam cup probably containing coffee. 

“They’re down the hall, announcing their arrival through their bickering.” Natasha boosted herself up onto the back of a leather couch and crossed her legs. She had a nice figure, which her tank top and jeans accented. “They’re always that way.” She stage whispered behind her hand.

“Oh, great. I thought I could avoid it.” Tony grimaced and held his hand out to Velika. “Tony Stark. Brains behind the idiots and the tech mastermind.”

“Velika Dante King. Nice to meet you.” Velika smiled. His sense of humor was already incredible and she could already feel herself relaxing around him. Her ability to trust strangers was slim to none and she hadn’t realized how tense she was.

Two men entered the room, one nearly bouncing as he walked. The other ambled in, shaking his head at the other, an expression of pure annoyance on his face.

“Hey, new blood!” The first yelled with a bright smile. She flinched not at his volume but the term. Back in her military days, the recruits being trained were called new blood. It brought up bad memories. 

The man behind him muttered something that sounded like ‘no need to shout.’

“Sam Wilson. The team’s best-looking member.”

Velika introduced herself again, shaking his hand. She usually would’ve had some kind of witty comment to shoot back, but the jet-lag (and being rattled from a term she didn’t expect to hear) had her just smiling and nodding.

"I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but everyone calls me Bucky.” Bucky, who had his arms folded across his chest, spoke quietly in comparison Sam. “Welcome.”

“Thanks, Bucky.” Velika nodded at him and tightened her hold on her bag. “It’s really been nice to meet all of you, but I’m exhausted and really need some time to adjust. New surroundings and people and all...a lot to take in.”

“Hey, no problem. I’ll show you to your room. You guys are free to go.” Steve touched her shoulder and she started. He pulled his hand away with a quiet apology. The others in the room dispersed as Steve led her down one of the side halls. 

She pretended not to notice Bucky Barnes’ gaze boring into her back.

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“Okay, it’s your turn,” Sam said, turning his attention to Velika. “Truth or dare?”

“I’m just here getting a drink. I’m not playing.” Velika grabbed a glass and dug around in the fridge for the bag of limes she’d asked for. 

“Aww, come on! You haven’t joined us for our game nights yet. Just one, please?” Sam begged as she pulled a lime out and cut it into slices.

“No, because I’ve heard how you can be. I’m not choosing between a ridiculously personal question and a stupid dare.” Velika dropped the slice of lime in her glass and returned the bag to the fridge.

“If we’re gonna be on a team, we need to get to know each other and all our dirty secrets! How else are you gonna trust us?” Sam’s words made her tense up. Trust was a hard thing for her. She’d already been there for two months and had yet to really forge any connections with anyone. Sure, she’d trained with Natasha on occasion and spent time in Tony’s lab to get gear fitted. Other than that, she kept to herself and stayed very quiet.

“Easy. I don’t and I won’t.” Velika said as she swept out of the common and back to her room.

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“Three on your six, Velika.” Natasha’s voice in her ear made her press against the wall and wait silently, gun drawn. “Make that twelve, wait...fifteen.”

“I don’t see them, yet.” She muttered, drawing another handgun.

“Barnes, help her out,” Tony ordered.

“On it.”

“I can handle this on my own.” Velika hissed, poking around the corner and firing off a shot. She earned three back as she swung back around into cover. “I’ve dealt with worse.”

“We’re a team, Velika. When are you gonna stop thinking we’re your enemies?” Nat asked, a hint of frustration in her voice.

“When you give me a reason.” She fired down the hall again. Thirteen enemies still standing. This was her first mission with the full team. She and Bucky were part of the ground team. Steve and Natasha were across the building.

“How many left?” Bucky called from across the hall.

“I said I can handle this on my own.” She said, stepping out of cover and shooting three times. Velika ducked back behind the corner, holstering her now empty weapon.

“Quit being stubborn.” Bucky shot her a frustrated look and fired twice down the hall. “How many left?”

“Twelve. Happy?” Velika cocked her weapon.

Bucky didn’t respond, shaking his head slightly. “I can get two on the right from here. Can you get the three on the left?”

“Yeah.” Velika shifted and aimed. She fired five times, taking out the assigned targets. “Six left.”

Together, they took out the remaining members in short time. 

“You okay?” Bucky asked, looking her over.

“I’m fine.” She snapped crossing the hall to get closer to him. “And I would’ve _been_ fine without your help.”

“We’re on your side, here, Velika,” Bucky argued, brows furrowed gently. 

“If you were really on my side, you would’ve let me handle it on my own. Teammates are supposed to-” Velika was cut off as he suddenly grabbed her arms and threw her to the side. She slammed into the wall with a grunt, about to tear him a new one when she looked up.

Bucky was fighting to disarm the agent they’d forgotten to count. The knife in the man’s hand had almost been driven into her back. He twisted the man’s arm and smashed his head into the wall, rendering him unconscious. He panted, tossing the knife away.

“Teammates are supposed to have your back when you need it and help you to make sure you don’t,” Bucky said, extending his hand to her. She took it and let him pull her upright. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.” Velika gave him a small smile. “Seriously, thanks. And...you’re right. You guys are on my side. I’m just...I can’t-”

“Trust doesn’t come easy for you.” Bucky interrupted her. “I get it, I do. When I first joined the team, I didn’t trust anyone but Steve. Now I trust them all with my life.”

“Even Wilson?”

“Even Wilson.” Though his tone was sincere, his expression showed his distaste. She laughed and shook her head. Maybe Bucky wasn’t so bad.

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“I’m going to smother you with a pillow, Velika!” Tony yelled, nearly throwing the table in his rage. She cackled wildly as he added twelve cards to his hand. “Sleep with one eye open.”

“You did that to yourself, Stark.” She giggled, fanning her cards back out. “Not my fault you didn’t count on the rest of us having draw twos.”

“All of you. Sleep with one eye open. I’m killing all of you and it starts with her.” Tony points an accusing finger at Velika with a deadly look in his eye.

Natasha laid down her next card, calling uno. Steve played a reverse, announcing that she certainly didn’t have another green. Nat tossed her green three onto the pile with a broad grin while Tony nearly started another war with Steve. Sam threw his cards onto the table, flipping the ex-assassin off.

Velika caught Bucky staring at her with a small smile as he set his cards down. She cocked her head to say ‘what?’ and he shook his head.

Eight months after she’d joined the team and she was finally sliding into place. Eight months later and she was finally beginning to trust them.

_Yeah, they’re not so bad._

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Velika watched the stars quietly, breathing in the night air. She’d woken from another nightmare and needed to get away from her room to calm down. They weren’t frequent anymore, but they were still vivid and always got her heart racing. Some nights, she even woke in her room thinking that she was back on her silver chain.

The peace of the night sky always calmed her down and reminded her that she wasn’t there anymore. The stars were always a friendly sight for her sore eyes, twinkling against the black background. She took a deep breath and felt her heart rate finally start to go down.

“Oh, I didn’t...Sorry, I’ll go.” Bucky’s voice startled her and she whipped around to see him standing awkwardly by the rood access door. He wasn’t wearing shoes (well, she wasn’t either) and his sweatpants were loose and his sweatshirt looked like he’d just picked it up off the floor. His hair was a wreck, though she assumed hers looked that way, too. 

“No, it’s okay. I wouldn’t mind some company.” She said, turning back to look at the sky. “Other than the stars, of course.”

Bucky was quiet as he joined her, keeping a safe distance between them. He’d even walked to her other side to stand on her left. She assumed it was because of his arm. 

“Nightmare?” Velika asked, leaning against the railing. 

“Yeah. You?”

“Yep.” They fell silent again, both just watching the world around them. Crickets chirped to fill the space and an owl called in the distance. The trees rustled with the soft breeze drifting by.

“Wanna talk about it?” He offered, turning to face her.

“Do you?” She countered, glancing at him. His eyes were puffy. Her heart hurt for him. 

“I...don't know if it would help,” Bucky admitted, sounding defeated. “Steve lets me talk about them sometimes but I can tell it bothers him. He blames himself for what happened, still, and I don’t want to add to his burden. _I_ don’t want to be a burden.”

“James Buchanan Barnes, you’re not a burden,” Velika said, fixing him with a softly stern look. “Come on. Lay it on me. Dream for a dream. Then I’ll tell you a story.”

Bucky rubbed his right hand over his face, then ran it through his hair. “What kind of story?”

“A story about the stars.” Velika smiled. “Any constellation. Whatever you want. I know them all.”

“I...don’t know the constellations anymore.” He sheepishly ducked his head. “One of the things I lost when Hydra brainwashed me.”

“Luckily, when _they_ brainwashed me, I didn’t forget them.” Velika sighed and shot a disdainful look upwards. “So, what happened in your dream?”

“It started normally. Didn’t think it was a nightmare at first. Just sitting in the common room, watching something stupid with the team. Next thing I know, I’ve got my hands restrained and someone...someone was talking to me.” Bucky drew in a shuddering breath, gripping the railing with his right hand. “Saying things that I can’t remember now, but...then I was being shoved back in that chair having my memory wiped. I blinked and I was approaching Steve with a knife. He greeted me kindly and I just slit his throat. One by one, I killed every single one of you and then just walked out.”

“Sounds like Hell.” Velika wrinkled her nose up. He’d been through a lot as the Winter Soldier and being under Hydra’s control, and it sucked that he couldn’t even get a break during the night when he was sleeping. “Have you seen a therapist for everything that happened?”

Bucky looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “What?”

“You went through a lot and without proper measures to cope and process, it’s only going to sit there and fester. It won’t get rid of your nightmares entirely, but it would maybe help decrease them.” Velika explained. “I got into therapy shortly after I got out. Saved my life, honestly. Got me back to a functioning person.”

“I...hadn’t considered that. I might have to look into that.” Bucky’s shoulders sank like the tension had been released. “Your turn.”

“That is the deal I made.” Velika sighed. “The dream started out of nowhere. I was dreamless until it suddenly popped up. I’ll spare you the gory details, but...it was back when I was under the control of my birth city. I think, at least. I couldn’t control my movements but I could see everything. They...they made me kill someone.”

“Who?”

“My brother,” Velika whispered, eyes falling closed as she swallowed thickly. “He was pleading for his life and I just couldn’t stop as I drove the knife into his chest over and over and _over_. Then as he was dying, I was back to myself and held him as he died.”

“ _Jesus.”_ Bucky’s eyes were wide. “Sounds like we’re both a mess.”

Velika laughed sadly and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, yeah...we kinda are. But we can at least be messes together.”

“You trust me enough for that?” Bucky asked with an arched brow.

“I do.” She admitted with a smile. “I trust you, Bucky. I trust the others, too.”

“Even Wilson?”

“Even Wilson.” Velika giggled and grabbed his arm. “Come on. Lay down. I promised to tell you about a constellation.”

She dragged him to a wider space of the roof and moved to his left side. She laid down with her arm behind her head. He cautiously laid next to her, giving her some space between them. 

“Okay, so we can see a few constellations from this position. There’s one there, there, and there.” Velika pointed them out. “Which would you like?”

“How about...the third one?” Bucky suggested.

“Hercules was the son of Zeus and Alcmene...” Velika launched into the story, staring up at the sky as the stars twinkled back at them. Nine months with the team and she’d finally settled in.

𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓮𝓮?

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	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a year of being with the team, Velika has really solidified her place. She and Bucky are sent on a mission to the Caribbean as recon for an abandoned Hydra base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a slight information dump: Archangels ruled castes and two were Commanders in the Army of Heaven. Velika was on the Guardian side, not the Warrior side.

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𝓡𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻, 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓪𝓭𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓼 𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓴?

Bucky chopped through the dense, tropical brush with a large machete, sweat dripping down his temple. The Caribbean climate was warm in a _cling-to-your-skin-like-a-wet-towel_ way. The humidity was almost suffocating as he cut a path. It had been an hour since they had to divert from the main trail and he had been cutting through plants the whole time. It made him miss the Siberian tundra. 

He could handle cold. The serum made him produce body heat like he was some kind of human space heater and all his gear was designed to insulate for the frozen climates. The heat was another animal to deal with. He couldn't exactly just remove all his gear in the middle of the jungle. Regardless, his teammate didn't seem to be bothered by the temperature at all.

Velika was a few feet behind him, watching their GPS to make sure they were on the correct route. Well, at least heading in the right direction. The helicarrier couldn't take them any closer than a mile off-shore, and their bikes could only take them so far into the jungle. The rest of the journey had to be on foot. Which meant a day's worth of hiking through the Caribbean jungle.

"Adjust to the right four degrees." She called over the sounds of birds chirping.

"Can't we just keep going this direction and adjust later?" Bucky responded, hacking at a particularly stubborn bush. He stopped, panting. The physical exertion in the heat was starting to get to him, but it didn't help that his bag was heavy. "I need a minute to catch my breath."

"I can hear a river about forty feet ahead of us. We can rest there." Velika appeared at his side. She didn't look the least bit disheveled or even sweaty. She even looked like she was in her element. Velika held her hand out to him. "Bucky, give me the machete."

"I'm fine. Just give me a second," He waved her off, taking deep breaths through his nose. It felt like someone had laid a hot rag over his face in a sauna and expected him to run a mile at a dead sprint. In other words, he was choking on his breath.

" _Give me the machete_ ," Velika demanded with a look on her face similar to one a mother would give her child when they were misbehaving. She pushed her hand closer to him. "I can handle forty feet of underbrush. I won't break."

"Fine." He grumbled, handing over the sword. She passed him the GPS and pushed in front of him. She stretched her neck out and rolled her shoulders back. The underbrush was no match for her as she started to swing at it, easily cutting a path for them. "You're gonna regret that in the morning."

"You _already_ regret it, you dork," Velika said through gritted teeth. A small tree was giving her issues and after a few rough hacks, she cut through it with a short grunt of effort. Bucky had been faster than her, but she was at least efficient so they moved at a steady pace.

"I'm not massaging you when you wake up stiff." He teased. A light breeze blew through the underbrush, helping ease some of the extreme heat he was feeling. At least the trees were sheltering him from strong rays of the sun. That was a small blessing of being in a tropical forest.

"I won't return the favor." Velika laughed breathlessly, her shoulders already beginning to ache from the new movements. It was working a different muscle group than she usually used daily. "How far?"

"Uh, twenty-five feet." Bucky wiped the sweat from around his mouth, rubbing it off on his thigh. Tony needed to make this up to him. He knew how much Bucky hated extreme heat and yet he sent him on the recon mission anyway. 

"Great." She muttered, continuing to hack at the flora. She hadn't broken a sweat even after half an hour of chopping. Step by step, swing by swing, she cleared a path down to the river. 

The river bubbled through the jungle, bouncing over rocks and chasing some unseen path around the bend. The water was clear in places it moved slow but bubbled into white froth where it collided with stones and fallen trees. A pair of birds took off as they stepped onto the shoreline.

"Your highness." Velika bowed exaggeratedly, her platinum blonde hair shining in the sunlight that filtered through. She straightened up with a smile.

"I'll throw you into this river," Bucky threatened, dropping his bag on the ground. He kneeled by the river's edge, the cool breeze blowing through drying some of the sweat on his forehead. "Do you have a spare hair tie?"

"Yeah, here." Velika pulled a black band from around her wrist and passed it to him. He nodded in thanks and pulled his hair into a low bun. "Are you okay?"

"I spent seventy years being in cryo intermittently. Heat is not my friend. How are you not overheating?" He asked, dipping his right hand into the cold water and resting it on the back of his neck. He was so sweaty and it was disgusting.

"I did a survival tour during basic training in the jungles of South America. Then I did one in the Sahara Desert with a sergeant of the warriors. Hot temperatures don't bother me anymore after that." Velika shrugged, crouching down next to him.

"Damn." Bucky shook his head. "The sun's going to set soon. We should find a place to make camp." 

"I think this river might flow out to the ocean. The aerial shots I saw in briefing had a river and this is the only one we've seen since we got here." Velika leaned forward to look down the bend of the river, watching where it disappeared.

"Sounds good to me."

"Best get moving when you're ready." Velika stood, spinning the machete around in her fingers. 

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Velika took the lead as they followed the river, her footing sure on the rocky shoreline. She glanced up at the sky occasionally, taking in the setting sun's light. It was significantly cooler by the water, the breeze drifting across the surface and swirling around them.

Just as she'd thought, the river spilled out into a shaded cove and tumbled into the ocean. On their side of the river, boulders and stones broke the waves. The opposite side was a wide-open sandy beach. 

"Wow." Velika breathed, eyes wide. She smiled slowly and took in the scenery. "Think we found our campsite?"

"Yeah. Looks great." Bucky grinned, taking the machete from her hand and sheathing it on his back. "How're we gonna get across this?"

Velika toed her shoes off with her socks and rolled her pant legs up. "Easy. Just wade through it." She scooped up her shoes and started through the bubbling creek carefully, making sure not to slip on any stones. 

"Or I could just jump it." Bucky backed up and got a running start.

Velika watched him, shaking her head in amusement. He landed solidly on the other side. "My legs are shorter than yours, Buck. I wouldn't have made it without falling on my ass."

Bucky laughed and offered her his hand, pulling her into the soft sand. "I would've caught you. Don't worry." 

"Oh, sure. Like you caught me in training last week?" Velika wiggled her toes into the soft sand. It stuck to her skin, but she didn't mind. She didn't have to put her socks and boots back on until the morning.

"Your hands were sweaty and my hand is metal!" Bucky said, tugging her forward. During a free-running lesson, Bucky had tried to help her climb a wall. When she'd grabbed his hand to haul her over, she slipped from his grip and fell onto the safety mat below. "Come on, Veli. Let's make camp."

Velika dropped her shoes into the sand, quickly followed by her bag. She sighed and stretched her back out, raising her arms above her head. "You're on tent duty this time."

Bucky groaned but dropped his heavier bag onto the ground and started to dig through it. He found the compact tent that Stark had packed and tossed it down the beach to a wider space. 

"I'll get a fire going."

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"There's no way. You're lying!" Bucky shouted, shoving Velika's shoulder as she laughed. The fire crackled in front of them, providing light in the twilight of the Caribbean. "You're _so_ lying!"

"Nope! You can ask my brother and he'll tell you the same thing!" Velika fell onto her back, cackling loudly and freely.

"I refuse to believe it. You took on an _Archangel_ and _won_?" Bucky stared at her in bewilderment, eyes wide. "No, you didn't do that. Nope."

Velika continued to laugh until tears streamed down her face. Her arms wrapped around her waist and she rolled onto her side to look at him. She stifled her chuckling by biting her lip, but amusement was still lighting up her eyes. 

"You're pullin’ my leg. This has to be a joke." Bucky shook his head, eyes shining in the firelight. It cast shadows over the fine lines of his face, making everything appear sharper.

"Okay, maybe it's a small joke. It was a rigged match." Velika admitted through giggles. "Just to prove to everyone that I was strong enough to be a lieutenant to the Archangel."

"I knew it!" Bucky started to laugh, falling back into the sand with her. "Did they _actually_ contest that you were worthy enough?"

"Some of the men were not exactly...fond of a woman beating them out. So, my commander staged a fight and let me win. He admitted later that it wasn't hard to let me win. Just a misplaced foot and it gave me the opening." She explained, propping her head up with her elbow. She smiled softly, eyes flickering over his form.

"I knew you were full of it." He turned his head to look at her, grinning slyly. His hair fell across the sand, fluffy now that it was sweat-free. The roots were still greasy, but she was certain her hair was a disaster as well.

"You totally believed me for a minute," Velika said. "Don't tell Steve, though. He still completely believes I bested my ex-commander fairly. Sam, too."

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." Bucky winked and looked back up to the sky.

The night sky was clear of clouds and light pollution, which allowed the full beauty of the twinkling stars to shine bright over the sheltered cove. The moon was a mere sliver, allowing the smaller lights to have their moment. The waves washing against the shore filled the comfortable silence between them, accompanied by the crackling fire and the chirping of nocturnal bugs. 

"Tell me about another constellation," Bucky whispered, meeting her gaze again. She held it for a moment, smiling gently.

Velika rolled onto her back and looked over the map of the sky. She was familiar with the Northern Hemisphere constellations off the top of her head, but the Southern Hemisphere constellations were something she needed to see first. She gained her bearings, identifying which ones were visible.

"There's three that I know well. They're there, there and over there." 

"How about that one?" 

"Scorpius, or the Scorpion, was the enemy of the hunter Orion..." Velika began. Her eyes shone like the stars and her voice washed calmly over him like the ocean.

𝓞𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝔀𝓲𝓯𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓵𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓬𝓮𝓪𝓷 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓹?

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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something has Velika on edge but she refuses to talk about it. She's looking for answers and takes the team with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to upload the version of Oceans and Stars my choir sang. It's just a rehearsal run as we hadn't gotten to perform it due to COVID. I didn't like the recordings that were online. Just didn't feel or sound the same.
> 
> Link: https://youtu.be/cAQhmitzD6k

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𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭?

The helicarrier touched down on the Arctic tundra, expertly maneuvered to land on the edge of the coast. The engines melted divets in the thick snow as they powered down. The water froze to create an icy sheen as soon as the engines shut off. The setting sun painted the land with soft pinks and oranges. It was still early enough in the winter season that the sun hadn't set for the few months to cover the tundra in a long night.

Velika pulled a heavy fur cloak around her shoulders, securing it at her neck. The bear fur would keep her warm even in the subzero temperatures when the sun was fully below the horizon. She tugged a pair of gloves on, tucking the ends into her jacket sleeves, and took a deep breath as the tailgate lowered to the edge of the ice. The cold air blew in immediately, swirling snow onto the landing.

"Christ, that's freezing!" Sam gasped, wrapping his arms around himself. He rubbed his arms quickly to generate some heat.

"We're above the Arctic circle, Wilson. Of course, it's freezing," Velika responded, starting down the ramp.

"So, what're we looking for?" Tony met her outside, hovering above the ground. "I'll do an air recon and see if I can find whatever it is."

"Ruins or a temple made of ice. If the temple is still standing, then the ice should look like it's holding galaxies and the aurora." Velika flicked her flashlight on and pulled her scarf up to cover her face.

"Got it. Magical ruins." Tony nodded and blasted off, heading north. He disappeared into the light of the sun, his armor blending in with the star.

"Don't make me carry you through the snow," Bucky teased, pulling the fabric mask up over his nose. "I am  _ not _ doing that again."

"Serbia was different!" Velika shot him a glare. "The snow was three feet deep  _ and  _ I had two bullets in my leg." 

"She's got you there, man," Sam said through their coms. He was staying at the ship to track their GPS locations because he didn't like the cold. He refused to trek out into the frozen lands.

"No one asked you, Wilson," Bucky grumbled, tucking his chin into the collar of his jacket. He shoved his hands into his pockets despite wearing gloves. 

"At least someone's on my side." Velika shifted the fur cloak to block against the wind blowing from the east. "Once we get on the ice, the snow won't be so bad."

"Ground Control, this is Major Tom. I'm seeing nothing to the north. Gonna follow the coast down to the east before circling back to the west." Tony's voice made her sigh in frustration. Anxiety was already building in her chest. They had to find it.

"This is Ground Control to Major Tom. We copy." Velika took the lead toward the west. She squinted through the darkness, scanning her light from side to side. The ice flow was silent other than the howling wind and the conversation between them.

"Since when is he a Major named Tom?" Bucky asked, brow furrowed. 

"It's a David Bowie song. Come on, Barnes!" Sam sounded exasperated as he sighed.

"Who?"

"David Bowie was a musician from the sixties and made music pretty much until he died in twenty-sixteen. He acted in a few movies as well. Played the Goblin King in Labyrinth. Ground Control to Major Tom is a quote from his nineteen sixty-nine song Space Oddity," Velika explained absently, scanning the horizon for anything that might indicate they were heading in the right direction.

"See! Even Velika knows who Bowie is!" Sam's grin could be heard in his voice.

"Sam, my brother slept with the man back in the eighties. I had no idea who he was before that," Velika laughed, shaking her head. Sam sputtered in her ear in disbelief. 

Bucky smiled to himself, glancing behind them to make sure there wasn't any wildlife to threaten them. He hadn't heard her laugh in a while and it made him relieved. 

"East is clear. Heading west." Tony interrupted. Sam confirmed that he had him on the radar. 

"What do you expect to find out here?" Bucky asked, catching up with Velika. He lifted his shoulders to block the wind from whipping his face and squinted as a particularly strong gust blew past.

"Someone who can help." She responded, dropping her head. "I hope."

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_ "She's really snippy today." Natasha mused as she poured herself a glass of milk.  _

_ "I heard her on the phone the other day talking in a language I didn't recognize. She said her brother's name once or twice and kept running her hand through her hair like she does when she's stressed," Wanda tossed a piece of popcorn in her mouth. Her laptop was open in front of her and she had just paused the tv show she was watching. _

_ "I don't know what's up with her. I asked and she shook her head and clammed up." Natasha wrinkled her nose up. _

_ "Even Bucky has no idea what's bugging her," Steve sighed, looking up from Bucky's text message. The team's dynamic had been tense for a week after Velika's sudden personality shift. "He's tried to talk to her but she just shakes her head and walks away." _

_ "I suggested that she needed to get laid or something but she just glared at me and left the room." Sam leaned against the counter, his arms folded across his chest. _

_ "Guys, I need a favor." The woman in question suddenly swept into the kitchen with a notepad in her hand.  _

_ "Oh, hi. You're chipper today," Sam shot her a smile and got a glare in return. _

_ "Try me, Wilson." She growled. "I'll be in conference room B. Meet me in ten minutes." Velika left as suddenly as she arrived. _

_ The room was silent for a beat before everyone glanced at each other with the same thought. Something was up. _

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_ "You want to do what now?" Tony asked, a brow arched. _

_ "It sounds crazy, I know. But if there's even a chance that it's real, I need to find it. It's important." Velika had spent the last hour reading through her annotated version of an old legend about an ice temple that was home to Fate. She was sure she'd found the place it was describing. _

_ "Well, I'm not doing anything this weekend so I'm game." Tony shrugged. _

_ "I'll go as long as I get to stay in the helicarrier," Sam said. "I don't do cold." _

_ "I'll go," Bucky, who had been silently worrying the inside of his lip the whole time, finally spoke. He looked up from the table and nodded once to double down on his statement. _

_ "I only need three other people." Velika smiled for the first time in a week. Her eyes were alight with relief and her shoulders sank like a weight had been lifted off them. _

_ "Let's get prepped, then." _

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"Velika, we've been out here for two hours. It's getting darker by the minute." Bucky called from a few paces behind her. His metal arm was starting to stiffen and twitch. "We need to head back to the helicarrier."

"It has to be here! We can't go back without finding it." She shouted back, eyes squinting to peer through the darkness. The wind had died down out of nowhere and the sky was completely clear of clouds. The stars did little to light the way and the moon was entirely in shadow.

"Velika!" Bucky grabbed her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. "What's going on with you? The last week you've been moody and distant. Now we're searching through some barren and cold land for a  _ legend _ ."

"It doesn't matter. We just have to find it." Velika tried to pull away from him, but he held her in place. "Bucky, please. I have to find it." Her eyes glistened with tears and her voice faltered. "There's no other option."

Bucky furrowed his brow in concern. He opened his mouth to question her further when she suddenly let out a broken sob, tears spilling onto her windburned cheeks. "Velika?"

"It's the last chance any of us have. The only option to save us from war." She cried, wiping the tears from her face before they froze in the subzero temperature. "I don't wanna fight, Bucky. I don't wanna face them. Don't wanna risk being dragged back to be put under their control."

"I don't understand." Bucky stepped around her, ducking his head to look her in the eye. It was hard to see in such darkness.

"Rising tensions between Hell and Heaven means that war is closer than it's ever been." She hiccuped, her chest heaving as she tried to breathe. She had kept this breakdown at bay for so long but now that she was faced with the prospect that the expedition failed, everything fell apart. "Any attempt at peace with Heaven we've tried to make has failed and if I don't find this temple and talk to Fate..."

Bucky pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly. "Velika, I think it's just a legend. If we haven't found it by now, I don't think we'll find it at all. I'm sorry." 

She clutched at his jacket, shaking in his arms as she sobbed. His heart ached for her. When America had been on the verge of joining World War Two, he had been praying they wouldn't. But he knew they would in the back of his mind. "I don't wanna leave you guys. I don't wanna fight."

"I know. But you've done all you can and now all you  _ can  _ do is wait to see if war even breaks out." He soothed, rubbing her back. "And spend as much time as you can with the people you care about.

Bucky continued to hold her as she calmed down, whispering what he hoped were comforting words. War was a huge weight on anyone's shoulders. The fact she was trying desperately to find a peaceful solution to avoid it just to stay with them made his heart swell, but he felt that was selfish. 

Velika lifted her head after taking a steadying breath, eyes soft and expression vulnerable. Her lips parted slightly and she looked past his shoulder in wonder. "Look."

Bucky turned his head to follow her gaze. "Oh, wow."

The Northern Lights were dancing overhead in vibrant colors of green. Purple lined the top with a pale red barely flickering at the tips. They moved like waves in the ocean, lighting up the sky brighter than the stars. 

Velika drew in a shuddering gasp. A coil in her ribs made dread settle in the pit of her stomach. The lights were telling her something. The answer to her question. They were the temple she was looking for. "Two months." 

"What?" Bucky turned back to her with a questioning look. He hadn't quite heard her while he was distracted.

"Gorgeous." She said, louder, covering up her revelation.

"They are. Come on. Let's head back to the helicarrier. I'm starting to feel the cold." Bucky gave her a lopsided grin and took the flashlight from her hand. He started back toward where they had come from and she sighed sadly before starting after him.

Two months later, Velika received a letter announcing the death of her ex-commander and the birth of war. 

𝓢𝓸 𝓯𝓪𝓻 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓮?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has come and Velika has received her letter calling her home to fight. Bucky doesn't know how to feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad about this :)

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𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭, 𝓘'𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾.

Velika paced in her room, the letter gripped tightly in her hand. She knew this day would come, but she didn't  _ want _ it to. After her excursion to the Arctic circle and the warning of two months, she had been counting the days and hoping against hope that her instincts were wrong for once. 

In one week, she would ship out to the Southern borders of Hell to fight. One week to say her goodbyes and to come to terms with the fact that she may not return. One week to make up for a lifetime in case she  _ didn't  _ make it back.

With a deep breath, she left her room. She had to tell everyone. They were in the common room for Bonding Night, either watching a movie or playing a game. She could hear their laughter from down the hall, Natasha's voice raised as she yelled at Steve. The mood was light and she hesitated in the doorway, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere.

Velika stepped into the room, the letter tucked behind her back. She almost turned to leave but reluctantly stood her ground.

Vision and Wanda were on the couch, watching a show. Pete was completely entranced by the tv, leaned forward with his forearms on his knees. Clint was twirling an arrow idly between his fingers, shaking his head at the fight sequence going on. 

Natasha and Steve were bickering over a rent price in their game of Monopoly. Sam was backing Steve up, teaming up against Nat. Tony was trying to sneak a little extra money from the bank, but Bruce (the unbiased third-party banker despite not playing) was watching him carefully. Bucky lounged back against his chair with a glass of some kind of carbonated drink in his hand, smiling at their antics.

"Hey, Veli! Nice of you to show your face around here." Steve greeted her with a wide smile before ducking a piece of popcorn chucked at him by Natasha.

"Miss Velika, we're watching that show you recommended! Come sit with us for a little bit." Peter glanced her way before turning back to the screen, totally engrossed with the paranormal mystery show. She had told him time and time again to just call her Velika, but the kid insisted on being respectful. She thought it was cute. She'd miss that.

Bucky looked up with a smile as well, but as she made eye contact, it fell slowly. He could tell something was wrong by her expression and body language. He had a feeling he knew what had happened. "Velika?"

"Guys, I need to talk to you." She said, biting the inside of her lip. 

Tony twisted in his chair to look at her. He read her expression quickly and nodded. "Hey, Pete. Pause the show for a minute. The game's on pause, too, you guys. No cheating." 

Peter picked the remote up and did as asked without question. Everyone turned their attention to her expectant looks. She held the letter up and their faces fell nearly in unison.

"I got the notice. I leave next Tuesday. The war has officially started." Velika's voice wavered and she didn't want to look at them.

The room was silent as time seemed to freeze. She watched as each person realized what that meant and the air suddenly became heavy. The letter wasn't just a call to action and service. They all knew there was a chance she wouldn't return and that this coming week would be the last they'd ever see of her.

"How long's your tour?" Steve finally piped up, voice thick with worry.

"I don't think it's that simple, Steve," Natasha muttered, casting a sideways glance at him.

"It's not. I fight until we win or lose or get captured or die." Velika explained, dropping her hand to her side. The paper crinkled beneath her fingers as her fist clenched. She was barely keeping it together. "It could last days, it could last years. And time works differently there. A year here is five years there."

"No telling how long you'll be gone, then," Clint said with a heavy sigh. 

"A week is all we have with you?" Peter asked in a quiet and trembling voice. Immediately, her heart broke. He was so young and didn't need to have that worry on his shoulders. "That's not nearly enough time."

"I know...it's longer than the last time I was called to fight. I had to ship out that night and barely got to say my goodbyes." Velika ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry for throwing this on you guys right now."

"Hey, don't apologize. You're going to war. It's a big deal and you need to get as much time with the people you care about." Tony waved her off and tried to sound his usual unflustered self, but she could see the worry already building behind his eyes.

Velika spared a glance at Bucky, who was pale and staring at the table. He was the only person who had known what the expedition to the Arctic circle meant.

"When did you find out?" He finally asked, looking up at her. She could see the dread behind his calm expression.

"I just got the letter an hour ago." Velika gave him a sad smile. "I should go start packing some things. Call my brother. That kind of stuff." 

"Would you like some help?" Sam asked, leaning forward in his seat to prepare to stand.

"No, but thank you. I just need some time alone." 

Bucky watched her leave with blurry vision. Tears had started to prickle at his eyes and he looked down at the table to hide it.

Slowly, people started back in their activities. The tv flicked back on and the banter between the main characters filled some of the silence. Someone rolled the dice and their piece hitting the board brought the room back to its previous rhythm. It felt heavier in the room, though, and everyone couldn't enjoy their evening as well knowing they could lose a friend.

"Buck, it's your turn." Steve nudged him.

"I forfeit. Return all my stuff to the bank." Bucky stood from the table and grabbed his glass, moving quickly out of the common room as he blinked back tears.

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𝓘'𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾.

The last week Velika had with them flew by faster than anyone expected or wanted. She hadn't been sleeping well and her mood had taken a somber turn. Everyone's had. The prospect that she could leave and never return loomed in the back of their minds. She did her best to live in every moment before she ran out of moments to live in.

She spent a whole night binge-watching that paranormal show with Peter and Wanda. Pete had asked her questions about the supernatural between shoveling popcorn in his mouth and being completely absorbed in the show. Wanda painted Velika's nails and quietly gossiped about celebrity drama. 

She and Steve took the train out to Brooklyn and spent the day volunteering in the soup kitchens and helping people wherever they could. She couldn't count how many times someone stopped them to take photos, which they did willingly. They made a game of it. Every time they took a photo with someone, they would donate five dollars to an organization that would help clean up the oceans. By the end of the day, they had raised four hundred dollars.

Clint helped her brush up on her incredibly rusty archery skills. She hadn't handled a bow in a very long time. She estimated since basic training before they had handed her a shield and broadsword. After she had gotten used to holding a bow again, he proposed a friendly competition. He won, as predicted, but she didn't mind. The banter and time with him were more than enough to make her smile.

Tony and Bruce helped add new tech to her old armor. Insulation for the cold, water-proofing for rain, and so on. She swore she had never laughed that hard before as they moved around each other in the lab. They worked perfectly together in an oil vs water kind of way. They didn't exactly blend, but they could coexist. 

Natasha helped her train, kicking her ass three ways to Sunday and gossiping about the team the whole time. She taught her new maneuvers to take someone larger than her off guard and to the ground. Nat helped her get used to carrying a shield again. She noticed Velika's attention drift when Bucky walked by.  _ Go talk to him,  _ she'd said with a knowing smile.  _ He's worried _ .

Sam ran aerial courses with her and tried air combat tactics. He wasn't very good at it mele air combat, so they just stuck to aerial routines. She taught him new ways to deploy and ways he could manipulate his wings to maneuver more efficiently. He was impressed to see how quickly she could move through the air without jet propulsors. She laughed and just raced him to the edge of the compound's property line and back.

Velika couldn't bring herself to seek out Bucky. That would make it too final and real. As long as she hadn't said her goodbyes to Bucky, she could live in the fantasy that there was still time before she had to leave. 

Then Monday night rolled around far too fast and it was suddenly less than twelve hours until she had to ship out. The roof had been her haven the last year and a half, the stars inviting and the moon calming. They were far less friendly as she stared up at them for the final time.

Her things were packed and ready to go. Photos of the team were tucked safely into an inner pocket of her bag. She had a mix of group and individual shots, but they were all her favorite photos of her teammates. She would miss them dearly. She'd learned to trust them and had become close enough that she considered them family. 

"Thought I might find you up here." Bucky startled her out of her thoughts and she shifted to look at him. He smiled thinly in greeting. "You've been avoiding me."

"No, I haven't." Velika paused briefly. "Okay, maybe I have a  _ little _ . I didn't intend to." She turned back around, sighing. 

"I don't blame you. But I did want to say goodbye," Bucky joined her at the railing, leaning his lower back against it. He was quiet, staring at the horizon where the sun had dipped behind. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "This sucks."

"Yeah." She looked up at the sky dejectedly. "It does."

Bucky grimaced and crossed his arms. Silence fell over them again only filled by the distant chattering of birds and the chirping of crickets. They didn't need words anymore. Just each other. Many nights on the roof after nightmares or insomnia had kept them awake had proven that. 

"I wanted to give you something." Bucky suddenly spoke as if he'd just remembered why he was there.

Velika watched him pull something out of the front pocket of his jeans. He held his old dog tags out to her with a soft expression. The metal of the chain glinted in the moonlight. She took them with a small smile, running her fingers lightly over the engravings.  _ Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes.  _

"You don' have to take them if don' wanna," He rubbed the back of his neck shyly, a light blush on his cheek. 

"Thank you, Bucky." She pulled the dog tags over her head and left them outside of her shirt. "Here, wait. It's only fair I give you mine in return. My old ones from before I defected."

"No, it's okay. You don't have to." Bucky shook his head, eyes wide.

She drew a gold chain out from the collar of her shirt, revealing silver tags engraved with gold. She removed her dog tags and held them out to him. He gingerly took them and examined the engravings.  _ Lt. Velika. _

"What does this symbol mean?" He asked, tilting the tag to show her the raised pattern. The simple wings were composed of swirls that extended to opposite directions.

"The crest of the Praesidium. The highest section of the Guardian caste." She explained. "I'd give them to my brother, but he's been called to fight, too."

"I'll keep them safe." Bucky clipped the chain around his neck and tucked them into his shirt. "I promise to return them when you return."

" _ If _ I return," She muttered, gaze falling to the ground. 

"Hey, don't talk like that. I know you're gonna make it out. You're one of the best fighters I know. Which is sayin' something, since we live with ex-assassins and enhanced people." Bucky nudged her shoulder and she cracked a smile. 

"But realistically...there's a good chance I won't make it back." Velika felt tears pushing at her eyes again. She'd cried her fair amount this last week and she was tired of falling apart. 

"Hey,  _ when _ you get back," Bucky turned to her with a serious tone in his voice. He shoved his hands into his front pockets looking everything like the smooth-talking boy he was back in the forties. "I wanna take you out. See a movie. Be a tourist in our own city. Go dancin' or walk through Central Park. Doesn't matter to me. Just wanna take you out."

Velika looked at him with wide eyes. Did he just ask her out on a date when she was about to ship out for a damned  _ war _ ? She was flustered and taken by surprise. "Bucky, that sounds wonderful. If-"

"Then it's a date." He spoke over her, stopping her before she could say the words that would tear his heart apart. "Don't know when, but it's a date."

"Bucky...you know as well I as do that-"

"Just say you'll be there." Bucky's voice got caught in his throat and the look he gave her broke her heart.

"I'll be there," She whispered, tears pushing at her eyes again.

"Don't miss it," He said.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Velika smiled. There was a brief moment of silence before she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. She buried her face into his shoulder, the tears finally falling.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her waist, bending down so she didn't have to stand on her toes. He hid in the crook of her neck, closing his eyes. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'm gonna miss you, too," She mumbled through a soft sob. She squeezed him tightly, trying to commit everything about him to memory. The way he held her, the sound of his voice, the scent of his cologne. 

Bucky gently pulled back and brushed her tears away. "I have one more thing to ask you."

"Shoot, Buck." She sniffed, feeling much better after her small meltdown.

"One last constellation story before you go."

"I think I can do that." She smiled and took his hand, tugging him to their usual spot. "And I'm gonna promise you something. If... _ when  _ I get back, I promise to tell you the story about my favorite constellation." 

"I'll hold you to that." Bucky laid down next to her, lacing his fingers with hers. "You get to choose the constellation tonight."

Velika squeezed his hand and scanned the sky. "Ursa Major has many names. Some call it the Big Dipper, but it is really Callisto. Callisto was once a beautiful nymph who had caught the eye of Zeus..." She began her story, hand twined with Bucky's.

This would be the thing she missed most.

𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓫𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only things keeping Bucky from going crazy are the memories he has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that some of my river descriptions could easily be traced back to Sound of Music. It's ingrained in me at this point so just ignore it. Let it happen. Be blessed by the sound of music.
> 
> This is very amusing to my family.

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𝓡𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻, 𝓸𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓪𝔂.

Bucky collapsed into bed, his back aching from the intense workout. It had been a long day and all he wanted to do was pass out and sleep through the night. That hadn't been a common thing lately. His anxiety had gotten worse ever since Velika left. His worry for her only increased every day she was gone. War was Hell and he couldn't imagine how much worse war _in_ Hell would be. 

Sleep was fitful and always interrupted with waking periods to check his phone. He'd never been on this side of war before. He'd never been the one waiting for someone to come home. He rolled onto his back and jerkily pulled his shirt off, chucking it into the corner of his room that the laundry basket was. He didn't care if he didn't make the shot. He was too tired to care. He sighed and tugged the covers over his shoulders, settling in for a few hours of non-restful sleep.

Bucky straightened Velika's dog tags and closed his eyes. Six months. It had only been six months. The only thing keeping him from going insane was the memories he saw in his dreams. 

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"Hey, did you know there's a trail in the woods behind the compound?" Velika asked as she entered the common room. It was a hot summer day, so she was in a tank top and shorts. She'd never shied away from wearing sleeveless things despite the scars on the inside of her forearms. When asked about them, she would say they were reminders that she survived and was free. Her hair swung behind her in a loose braid.

"Uh, no. I didn't. Why?" Bucky looked up from his laptop, pausing his typing. After running a mission, he was still working on the report. It had been weighing on him for days and he couldn't find a way to properly explain everything that had happened on the botched mission. Why it had gone wrong was due to mechanical failure, but he still had no idea  _ why _ there was a mechanical failure, to begin with, and Stark wanted all the details so he knew how to fix it.

"If you wanted to take a break from whatever you're doing, we could go take a walk?" She offered with a smile, cocking her head to the side. "Your shoulders are tight. Just thought you could use a little time away to get a breath of fresh air."

"That sounds nice, actually. How about we head out in ten minutes? I'm almost at a good stopping point." Bucky returned her smile, leaning back against his chair. His back did hurt a little from the hours of sitting and his neck as getting sore. A break would be wonderful and would maybe let him sort out everything that happened.

"Sounds good to me! Meet me out front in ten, then." Velika stopped by the fridge and grabbed a water bottle before bouncing out of the room as quickly as she'd appeared. 

Bucky shook his head fondly and returned to his gaze to the screen, determined to finish the paragraph.

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𝓞𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓪𝔂.

"I think there's a river up ahead," Velika said, a few steps ahead of him. She turned back to look at him with a smile, hands sunk into her jacket pockets. She looked completely at home in the woods yet so out of place in the best way.

"Didn't know there was a river in the area." Bucky looked up through the trees at the blue sky. Small white clouds dotted the sky, fluffy like cotton balls. A light breeze ruffled the leaves and caught Velika's braid. 

"There's a lake about two miles northwest of the compound, so I wouldn't be surprised if there was a river that dumped into it." She waited for him to catch up to her, holding her right hand out. He arched a brow and took it with his left hand. She grinned and laced their fingers together, starting down the path again.

"Your hand is very warm," Bucky said, turning his head to look through the tree trunks. A pair of birds flitted from branch to branch, twittering happily as they chased each other.

"You can feel that with your metal hand?" Velika asked, giving it a light squeeze. She received one back.

"Stark and Shuri fitted my arm with sensors. I can feel pretty much everything except pain. If it gets damaged, I don't feel pain like I would if my other arm were to be shot or stabbed," He explained with a small shrug. "If I didn't forget it was metal before on occasion, I certainly do now."

"Huh. I still don't understand how all the tech works but that's actually  _ really  _ cool." Velika swung their arms as they walked, silence falling comfortably between them. The forest was lively with chirping birds and buzzing bees. In the distance, a jet took off to carry a team to a mission.

The sound of running water caught her attention and she smiled in victory, turning to look at him with that familiar mischievous look in her eyes.

"You were right." Bucky chuckled. "How'd you know?"

"That's a secret I'll never tell." She winked and tugged him towards the river. 

A clear creek ran through the woods, babbling happily as it tripped over stones and branches. Brush and trees hung over the shoreline, dipping just below the surface and leaning to the side as the current dragged it away. The land on the far side was much higher than the land they currently stood on, and a tree trunk laid across the water as a makeshift bridge.

Velika let his hand go and started up the trunk, arms held out to keep her balance. It was a gentle slope, and the trunk was very wide so it wasn't very difficult to walk on. 

Bucky sunk his hands into his jacket pockets, watching her with amusement. She lined her feet up one in front of the other like she was walking on a tight rope, effectively making her journey a tad more difficult. She wavered, nearly falling over and caught her balance quickly without ending up in the water. She glanced back at him with a brilliantly wide smile when she got halfway.

"Come on, Buck!" 

Bucky looked at the height of the tree over the river. It wasn't very far, but he had a fear of falling off things ever since he fell off the train. He shuddered slightly and shook his head. "I'm good."

"The view is great! You can see the lake from here." Velika turned back around, watching her feet to make sure she wouldn't lose her balance again. She started back and hopped off the tree and onto the ground in front of Bucky. "It'll be fun. An adventure!"

He rubbed the back of his neck, turning his head away in embarrassment. He knew it was a ridiculous fear, but it made his heart pound and his head swim nonetheless. Here he was, scared of standing on a log five feet above a river that wouldn't even be deep enough to reach his waist in front of a woman who wasn't afraid of anything.

"What's wrong?" She asked, expression softening.

"I have this thing about...falling. After the train, I just...I dunno." Bucky muttered sheepishly, gaze falling to his feet. "I'm sorry. It's stupid, I know."

"Bucky, you fell like five hundred feet or more. It's not stupid. It's completely reasonable and I would be concerned if you  _ didn't _ get nervous at the thought of falling off something high." Velika kicked her flats off and held her hand out to him. "We don't have to cross completely. We can just go far enough to sit down and look at the lake. I promise I won't let you fall."

Bucky kneeled and untied his boots. He toed them off with his socks, grimacing as his bare feet hit the dirt. With a deep breath, he accepted her hand. No time like the present to face his nightmares, even though he hated how his stomach twisted at the thought.

Velika led him carefully to the trunk, stepping onto the wood. She turned to face him, sure of her footing. She walked backward on the fallen tree, glancing down occasionally to make sure she wasn't going to accidentally pull them both down if she lost her balance. He had a death grip on her hand, thankful it was his right. He didn't want to accidentally break her hand just because he was afraid to fall a couple of feet. 

Bucky's eyes flickered nervously from where his feet were on the wood to the water below. His vision swam and the distance between the tree and the river looked ten times bigger than it had just a second ago. He swallowed thickly and stared at the rushing water with wide eyes.

"Hey, look at me." Velika squeezed his hand and waited for his gaze to meet hers. "Hi."

"Hi...?" He furrowed his brow. His head spun for a moment at the change in view and his balance wavered. He swung his left arm in a panic to try and steady himself. His heart rate spiked and his throat closed up. Velika reached forward and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back to center and keeping him balanced until he realized he was okay.

"It's okay. I got you. I won't let you fall." Velika smiled in reassurance, rubbing her thumb over his shoulder lightly while he calmed down. "I won't let you go until you're ready. We're almost there, Bucky. You're doing great."

Bucky took deep breaths, his right hand quivering. His whole body was trembling like he'd just run a mile at a dead sprint. Once his chest unwound, he was able to breathe easier and nodded to let her know he was ready. 

"Try to focus on where you're placing your feet and me. Don't look at the water as much as possible." Velika stepped back, her pace slower to make sure he was comfortable. His gaze bounced between her face and his feet as they moved. The water rushed underneath the tree, but he kept it out of focus. "There you go. Just focus on putting one foot in front of the other."

"I hate you." He said through gritted teeth. His knees felt weak and he was sure he was going to faint if they went any further.

"Uh-huh. Sure you do." She laughed and stopped since they were at the halfway point. She let go of his hand and turned to sit down on the log, facing the way the river ran and joined the lake. 

Bucky warily settled next to her, his heartbeat in his throat. He looked up at the view and his eyes widened. "Okay, that's worth it."

Velika elbowed him gently with a grin. "Told you. You did really well, Bucky. It's only a few feet, but progress is still progress, no matter how small."

They fell into a lull of silence, listening to the creek bubble underneath them. The sunlight reflected off the tiny waves making the water seem like it was encrusted with tiny diamonds. A pair of birds broke out of the woods and followed the stream for a short time until ducking back into the canopies of the trees. It was very peaceful.

"So, really. How did you know this river was here?" Bucky asked, dipping his feet into the water. The chill felt nice in the summer heat. His heart rate had settled considerably and he no longer felt the constant worry of falling off the trunk. 

"It has to do with my Mark, actually. You know that tattoo on my sternum and under my boobs?" She lifted her shirt far enough to reveal the edge of her Mark. All he could see were the tips of the feathers of the left wing of an owl.

"Yeah?"

"I gained my Mark after the Battle of Lekiana. The Owl represents wisdom and insight, but can also mean intuition. I have a very strong intuition that allows me to predict things other people can't." Velika dropped her shirt and swung her feet slightly to play in the water. "It was a routine border patrol and a thick fog had settled over the plains to the East of the Silver City. We'd been having issues with the rogues, which are violent angels who don't follow the laws of the City. I was the highest rank I could be - Officer, I think - at the time. This was about six months before I was promoted to Captain in the highest order."

"Obviously, something went wrong," Bucky said with a snort. If it had been a routine border patrol, then there wouldn't have been a name for it. Especially a name with the word  _ battle _ in it.

"How'd you guess?" Velika teased with a smile. "I started to get a weird feeling in my chest around the edge of the Wilds, which is a large forest that lines the southern and eastern borders. Impressions flashed in the back of my mind and something was telling me that we were going to be ambushed. I instructed my people to set up a defense line and sent someone back for reinforcements. One minute before a group of thirty rogues came running out of the Wilds, I felt like someone had wound my ribs together with wire. I struggled to breathe for that minute and I gave the order to prepare for battle just as my chest released and the bushes rustled."

"How'd it turn out?" Bucky asked, turning his head to look at her. She was staring at the water, eyes glazed over as she fell quiet for a moment. She blinked and shrugged nonchalantly.

"I was able to make our few withstand an all-out attack until reinforcements arrive because of the intuition. We lost two or three people, but our losses could've been much worse. I took charge when reinforcements arrived and beat back the rogues. We captured enough to undermine three different raids." Velika took his hand in hers again. "I had to go through intensive training for six months to learn how to use my insight before being inducted into the Praesidium, which is the highest order." 

"Damn. That's impressive. So you knew the river was here because of your intuition?" Bucky mused, watching the sun's dancing reflection on the distant lake. A few ducks were swimming on the surface, and if he squinted, he swore he could make out some duckling paddling them.

"Nope. I did aerial training with Sam the other day and saw it out here." She burst out laughing when he turned to her with an unamused expression, his eyes narrowed at her.

"So what was the point of telling me that?!" He shoved her shoulder, nearly pushing her off the tree. She caught herself and calmed down, wiping a tear from her eye. 

"Lekiana was the battle that made me fear myself for the first time," Velika said, looking out at the lake with a vaguely somber expression. "I gained a fear of the unknown. My brother didn't have that ability. My parents didn't either. I thought there was something wrong with me and people looked at me with fear in their eyes. I suppressed my intuition until my ex-commander approached me and took me out to a training field. He forced me to fight him blindfolded, making me have to use my intuition to even stand a chance."

Velika turned to look at him with a small smile. She took his hand again, lacing their fingers together. "He made me face my fears, but also myself. I wasn't afraid of myself after that until they recruited me as a bounty hunter after the war. Until I realized they'd turned me into something I didn't want to be."

Bucky met her gaze, head tilted slightly. His eyes were gentle in his confusion. "I still don't understand."

"You have a fear of falling but I still dragged you onto this tree with me. Sometimes you need to have someone to face your fears with. I wouldn't make you face anyone who hurt you from Hydra, but I will drag you onto trees and ledges because fearing the fall will only make you miss the landing." Velika explained. 

"But what if I do fall?"

"James Buchanan Barnes, I promised I wouldn't let you fall and that promise will still stand even when we get off this tree."

"You really promise?" He held his metal hand up, pinky extended. It was childish, but that was the point. She grinned and hooked her pinky with his.

"Promise."

𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓰.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve return to the Caribbean to clear out the base that he and Velika reconned many months before. The small cove sparks a conversation that changes everything.

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𝓘'𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓾𝓹 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓮.

Bucky moved branches aside, squinting through the underbrush of the Caribbean. It was not as hot as it had been a few months ago when he and Velika had first cut this path. He was surprised that the path he'd created wasn't overgrown.

"Where are we going, Buck? The sun's gonna set soon and we need to make camp," Steve called, obviously very confused at their detour through a barely-there trail in the jungle.

"I'm looking for a river. This path leads to it and the river empties into the ocean in an isolated cove." Bucky explained, ducking under a spider web with a warning to Steve. "Velika and I camped there and it's a two-mile walk to the base from it."

"Wow. An isolated cove in the Caribbean. Where you and Velika camped for two nights," Steve's voice was full of suggestion and when Bucky glanced back at him, he had an eyebrow raised and a knowing smirk.

"Shut up." He grumbled, turning as the sound of the river broke through the chirping of the birds and rustling trees. A tiny monkey shot across the branches above them and his mood lightened slightly. Not many islands had monkies on them anymore and the ones that did protected the species that lived there as they were endangered. Velika had told him about them when they were cutting through the jungle.

"I didn't say anything!"

"You were thinking it and that's bad enough." Bucky pulled his bag up further on his shoulder, a blush starting to creep up. It was a good thing it was relatively warm out so his face was already red, to begin with.

"I'm just sayin', Buck. You were unsupervised in a private cove in the  _ Caribbean _ ." Steve said in a tone that presumed more than he wanted to even think about.

"And nothin' happened. We watched the stars and talked. That's it." Bucky brushed his hair out of his face. He always forgot to carry hair ties with him and his hair was long enough to obstruct his vision if it decided to fall in his eyes. 

"Come on, Bucky. I'm your best friend. You can tell me if you slept with a teammate." 

"Tell me again why I agreed to let you come with me and not Sam?" Bucky asked, glaring over his shoulder in irritation. At least Sam wouldn't have continued to pester him about it. He could put up with Sam's complaining about the climate and the humidity and the plants if it meant Steve stopped bugging him about Velika.

"You totally slept with her!"

"I did  _ not _ !" Bucky growled, picking up the pace towards the river. His face burned at the implication and the memories of their second night in the cove were not helping. 

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_ Velika had been lying silently next to him as they watched the stars when she suddenly sat up with a grin. They had reconned the base that day and had one more night before the team would be able to pick them up. _

_ "What?" Bucky asked, noting the playful glint in her eye. She was known to always have a small spark of mischief but when she was up to something, it was like her eyes were glowing with it. _

_ "Back in the day, did you ever go skinny dipping?"  _

_ "Once or twice. Why?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously as she got to her feet.  _

_ "I've  _ never _ done it." She admitted. "I kinda want to." _

_ Bucky sat up with a raised brow. She shot him a grin and crossed her arms at the waist, pulling her tank top off over her head. She shimmied her shorts off and tossed them into his lap.  _

_ "Veli, a fella might get the wrong idea if you throw your shorts at them." He held them up with a finger with a smirk.  _

_ Velika laughed and extended her hand to him. "Come on, fella. Come join me." _

_ Bucky smiled and accepted it, letting her haul him to his feet. She pulled him towards the ocean. "Hold up, darlin'. Hold on." He let go of her hand and took his shirt off, throwing it back to the pile of clothes she'd left behind. He unbuttoned his pants and shoved them down over his hips, kicking them off and chucking it into the pile. _

_ "Better?" She grabbed his hand again and tugged on his arm. _

_ "For somethin' you've never done before, you're not afraid to jump in headfirst." He let himself be dragged closer to the water with minimal resistance, watching her with amusement. She was only in her underwear and a sports bra.  _

_ "Sometimes you just have to jump in without fear! If you let fear hold you back, you'll never live." She splashed through the shallow waves, pulling him further into the water.  _

_ Bucky rolled his eyes and waded with her until the waves were wrapping around his stomach. She was nearly up to her shoulders. He let go of her hand and looked up at the stars above them. He missed Velika bracing herself and was very surprised when she rammed into him, knocking him off balance. _

_ He fell into the water, his head going under. He found his footing and stood quickly, shaking his head sharply to whip his hair out of his face. She was giggling, backing up away from him. _

_ "You shouldn't have done that, darlin'. You're playin' with fire." Bucky warned, stalking toward her. _

_ "Barnes, don't you dare." She held her hands up defensively and shook her head.  _

_ Bucky launched at her, wrapping his arms around her waist and dragging her down into the water with a splash. She squealed and grabbed his shoulders as she went under. He surfaced with a grin, brushing his hair out of his face. _

_ Velika's head popped out of the water and she laughed brightly. He chuckled, eyes crinkling up at the edges. _

_ "So, how's your first time skinny dipping going?" He teased, shifting onto his knees. The waves made him bob slightly, lifting off the sand before settling back down. She pulled herself closer to him, squeezing his hips with her knees and resting her arms around his shoulders to keep herself above the surface. He reached up and pushed her hair back. _

_ "I think it's going pretty good." She responded, gazing down at him with eyes that twinkled like the stars. He wrapped an arm around her back to keep her steady as a wave sent them floating. "The water's a little chilly, but you put heat off like some kind of water-proof space heater so it balances out well." _

_ Bucky was suddenly captured by her beauty in the moonlight, water droplets running from her brow and around her eyes. Her East Asian features had always made her face look softer than most, but she had never looked so gentle and open. He tucked a small piece of her hair behind her ear, hand lingering near her cheek. _

_ Her ice-blue eyes flickered between his in slight confusion, a tiny smile curving her lips up. "What?" _

_ "Nothin'. You're just very pretty like this." He mumbled. Silence fell for a moment and she wet her lips quickly. _

_ "Can I kiss you?" She asked in barely a whisper. If he hadn't already been so close to her, he wouldn't have heard it over the waves. He blinked in shock at her forwardness.  _

_ Bucky hadn't ever considered her that way, not really. She was a friend. A good one at that and he was worried this could change everything between them. He feared losing her as a friend. _

_ "Sure." _ _ He whispered back and her lips were on his within a moment. Her head was tilted just right to make it more than a peck. He'd imagined kissing her once, maybe twice, but he never expected it to be like this. Despite being in the jungle for two days, her lips were soft and gentle. He could barely taste the strawberry chapstick she carried with her everywhere over the salt of the ocean. _

_ The kiss didn't last very long, but it felt like ages to Bucky. He watched her expression carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. She didn't say anything, just stared back at him. He was about to ask her  _ why _ she had kissed him, but she suddenly shivered and he realized they'd been in the water for a while in their underwear. _

_ "Let's get you back on land and in some warm clothes." He said, breaking the trance. She nodded and broke away from him, standing up. He got to his feet, taking her hand and leading her back to shore. _

_ "There's sand in my bra," Velika complained and he barked a short laugh. _

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"So, if I'm getting this right...you two  _ kissed _ and then just didn't talk about it?" Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, brow furrowed.

"Well, she was cold and I didn't want her to get sick." Bucky defended, looking at his best friend over the campfire. Steve hadn't let up about him and Velika and so he had to prove that they didn't sleep together.

"You're such...Bucky, you're an idiot." Steve shook his head. "Why didn't you talk about it after you got back from the mission?"

"She's a good friend and I love bein' around her. I didn't want to bring it up in case she regretted it or was embarrassed or somethin'. And she never mentioned it either so we just moved on and went back to how we were." Bucky had wanted to bring it up and ask her about it, but he had always lost the nerve when he approached her.

Steve dropped his head into his hands, a smile of disbelief on his face. "Weren't you the smooth-talker back in the day? Had a date line up every night of the week if you wanted to and could charm the socks off any girl?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Bucky ran a hand through his hair to push it out of his face.

"You don't know a damn thing about women anymore, do you?"

"Neither do you!" He countered, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, but  _ I  _ wasn't the most eligible bachelor in New York seventy years ago. How do you feel about her? Tell me, honestly." Steve looked at him seriously, expression open. 

Bucky sighed. How did he feel about her? Truly, honestly? She was great company. Always made him laugh when he felt down and didn't treat him like he was made of glass and could shatter at any moment. She distracted him from the nightmares on the bad nights and always made sure to check in with him when in crowded social settings. She got him in a way that the others didn't, having been a victim of brainwashing herself and used as a tool to kill. 

She was beautiful, that wasn't a lie. No matter what she was wearing, she always took his breath away. Her smile was infectious and her laugh always made his chest feel warm. Every time she held his hand or put her hand on his shoulder or upper back made his skin spark with electricity. He looked forward to the stories she told of the constellations, reminding him that not everything is dark on the other side. She listened to him - truly listened to him and always knew how to help him find his way. Walks in the woods, perfectly timed reminders they could leave any situation he was uncomfortable with, asking about his memories. 

"Maybe a simpler question will help," Steve said after the few minutes of contemplative silence. "How did you feel when she kissed you?"

"Complete." He didn't even need to think about his answer. "Like she was the missing piece I've needed since I started finding myself again."

"Do you want to kiss her again?" Steve prompted with a small incline of his head.

"God, yes," Bucky said breathlessly. 

"Buck, I think you have a crush on her." Steve grinned. "She's good for you, pal. You're good for each other."

"I don't think it's a crush, Steve," Bucky admitted, glancing up at the stars. He picked out Scorpius, smiling slightly at the fond memory. 

"I've seen the way you look at her. It's definitely a crush and you need to tell her when she gets back because I'm  _ sure _ she feels the same way." Steve snorted, watching his best friend in amusement. 

"If she comes back," Bucky mumbled, his gaze falling to the fire sadly. It had been almost two years already and he was worried beyond belief. Because of where she was, they didn't have contact with her and therefore were very much in dark.

"Don't think like that, Buck. We both know if anyone has the best chance to live through a war, it's her," Steve stood, brushing the sand off his pants and hands. "We should turn in. I'll put out the fire."

Bucky nodded and stiffly got to his feet, brushing the sand off himself. His hip popped as he walked towards the tent and he grimaced. It didn't hurt at all, it just sounded bad. He ducked into the tent wiped his feet off as he pulled his shirt over his head. He crawled tiredly into his sleeping bag and was almost asleep when Steve entered.

He moved quietly around the tent, getting into his sleeping bag and sighing as he settled. A few minutes went by of silence between them. The ocean crashed against the shore, a constant lull similar to his heart beating. Crickets chirped and other nocturnal bugs buzzed deep in the forest. An owl called in the distance, receiving no response.

"Steve, I think I'm in love with her."

𝓦𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Velika has been on the frontlines. She finds herself camping on the beach of the Ocean at the Edge of The World.

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𝓛𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮. {𝐿𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒}

"We're making camp, soon," Velika called back to her unit, hiking her bag higher on her shoulders. The grass was tall and she nearly tripped as some wound around her boot. She cussed and ripped through it. She hated the plains with a burning passion.

It hadn't been bad in the beginning, with short grass that stretched on for miles. Then the grass started to get taller and now Velika was nearly up to her chest in plants.

"Need me to carry you, Vel? Almost losing you in this forest." Her old friend, Tzion, asked as she caught up to her, a teasing lilt to her voice. The large ex-general sauntered casually next to her, over a foot taller than Velika herself.

"Shut up. Not all of us are taller than the trees." Velika shot her a playful glare. "The Ocean at the Edge of the World is about four miles down this bluff. Should be space for us to settle down for the night and wait for instructions."

"You ever been to the Ocean?" Tzion checked the area, her head swiveling as she scanned for any approaching enemies. She was Velika's right hand in their unit, making sure that their backs were watched and everyone's ideas were heard and taken into account. She was a fantastic leader and worked well with her old friend.

"I've never been this far into Hell," She admitted, avoiding a hole in the ground. "I popped out on the Other Side and Baphomet had to bring me over here through the northern gate."

"How long ago was that?"

"Uh, like...four hundred years? Three hundred? I haven't been keeping track." Tzion snorted and shook her head in amusement. They fell quiet, content to just walk and stay attentive to their surroundings. 

The war had lasted eleven years already. Time moved differently in Hell, meaning that they'd been fighting for roughly two Earthen years. It certainly wasn't the longest war she'd been in, but it was still hard. Her body was tighter, leaner, and constantly sore. She felt like she was constantly being watched (she was, by her unit), constantly threatened (she was, by pretty much everything around them), and constantly holding the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Velika shifted Bucky's dog tags under the collar of her armor. She hadn't taken them off since she'd left. She'd also stolen one of Bucky's shirts to wear under her armor. It was the red one that he didn't wear much anymore so it was the perfect one to swipe without him missing it too much. It still smelled like his cologne, miraculously, and it brought her comfort on the darkest and roughest days.

The others had given her small things to carry with her, too. Wanda's ring was on the chain with Bucky's tags. Tony and Bruce's tech was ingrained in her armor. But Tony also gave her the deck of his favorite playing cards. Steve had gotten her a sturdy bracelet. Peter had written her a letter talking about one of his days at school, complete with little doodles and even a small note from Ned. Natasha gifted her a knife, even though she knew it wouldn't do anything against the angels.

The photos of the team, Peter's letter, and Tony's playing cards were tucked into her bag, which seemed to grow heavier with every step she took. Exhaustion was settled deeply in her bones and she was certain that no matter how much she slept, she thought she'd never feel rested.

The war was turning in their favor. It had been in their favor at the start, she hadn't known that until she saw the Four Horsemen riding towards their enemy. Death, War, Pestilence, and Famine were defending Hell alongside every demon, fallen angel, and other creatures that called it home. The Horsemen themselves were mostly Archangels, except for War. But this isn't about them.

"Four miles are nothin' compared to what we've already trekked," Tzion muttered with a sigh, falling back to talk with an ex-officer.

Four miles. In the grand scheme of things, four miles was a walk in the park. If the park was a war-torn battlefield where death could befall them any second.

Yeah, just a regular old walk in the park.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

𝓖𝓻𝓸𝔀 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓰𝓻𝓸𝔀. {𝒢𝓇𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓌}

The Ocean at the Edge of the World was the most beautiful thing Velika had ever seen. The crystalline blue waters stretched on until the horizon, reflecting the dusky sky. Waves washed against black sand, tumbling stones and shells onto the shore. The beach was a mile wide from where the plains ended and went on for miles either direction.

"Wow," She breathed, dropping her bag into the sand. People milled around her, putting up tents and gathering firewood and grass to start fires.

"Just wait until the sun sets." Tzion nudged her before walking down the beach a little to set her tent up.

Velika dug through her bag, finding her stakes and slowly started to get her tent ready. She was suddenly reminded of camping with Bucky while on the recon mission in the Caribbean. She bit her lip and pushed down tears, taken off guard by the wave of emotion. 

She missed them all terribly and she wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. She'd done her fair share of crying in private moments and she was sick of it. The tent refused to cooperate and she dropped it in frustration, the tears blurring her vision.

"Hey, baby girl, it's okay." Tzion was suddenly at her side with concern. "Take a breath" 

Velika clenched her jaw and drew in a deep breath, eyes closing. 

"I'll get this set up. Go for a walk. Take some time for yourself, baby girl. You've been leading us all day and you're stressed out. I'll get take care of this and take over for a little." Tzion rubbed her back and gave her a soft look.

"Alright. Thank you." Velika nodded and strode off down the beach towards the tidal pools for at least five minutes alone away from the prying eyes of her unit and the expectations.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰.

"Okay, so, who do you have waiting for you back home?" Tzion asked before taking a swig of her beer. Where she had gotten the beer, Velika had no idea. She had mentioned something about a smuggler's cache a mile down the beach, but Velika really had no idea where she'd produced it from.

The people sitting around their campfire took turns talking, some showing photos and others telling stories. In the beginning, no one wanted to bond in case they died on the battlefield soon after. But after eleven years of fighting and losing very few, they all had started forming small groups and trusting each other a lot more.

Velika's brother talked fondly of the people that worked in the business he co-owned with his best friend (who he was _definitely_ not in love with). His best friend also told stories of their staff, smiling at the memories and staring longingly at her brother.

The ex-sergeant of the Bellators (the highest legions in the warrior caste) showed a picture of a little girl with wild brown hair and a smile to match. Her mother was crouched behind the girl, hair wild as well and her smile nearly identical to her daughter's. The girl wasn't his biological kid, but he'd been her father figure since before she was born. 

Tzion spoke of a red-headed man she'd met who she helped save from the gallows. He was lanky and tall, and reportedly good in bed. She was still taller than him by a good few inches, but he didn't seem to mind.

"So, Veli. Who do you have?" Tzion called her out since she hadn't said anything yet.

"A whole team. It took a long time for me to find my place among them and actually trust them, but once I did...it was like finding a family. A really, really dysfunctional family." Velika laughed, taking a quick sip of her beer. She grimaced, but wouldn't complain. It was one of the better tasting things she'd had since they stopped in a village two years ago. 

"Anyone special?" Tzion gave her a pointed look over the campfire.

"They're all special. Here, hold on." She turned and dug through her bag, pulling her photos out. She passed them around, explaining who each person was. 

"Veli, tell them about Bucky." Her brother chimed in with a sly smile. 

"For the record, I hate you." Velika glared at him, but everyone had already turned to listen to her. She sighed and shrugged. "I don't know what there is to tell. He's a good friend on the team. Quiet, a little reserved at times, but he's good company. He sits with me when I can't sleep and we help each other when the nightmares get too much. He has a great sense of humor and his laugh is infectious. He doesn't smile often, but when he does, it lights his whole face up."

"He's smiling in this photo. Is that him, though?" The ex-sergeant leaned over and pointed to Bucky.

"Yeah. And that's Sam Wilson." Velika smiled despite herself at the photo. "They have a love-hate relationship. Prank wars between the two are genuine wars. One time, Bucky's arm got superglued to a piece of workout equipment and they had to remove it."

"They cut off his arm?" Her brother's best friend asked with wide eyes.

"His left arm is a metal prosthetic and that's the one that got superglued. Well, heat bonded on accident. He was so pissed and chased Sam around the compound for an hour. He came storming into the kitchen at one point and looked me in the eye like he was planning a murder and said 'where's Wilson.' I pointed the way and he ran out while threatening to throw Sam off the roof." Velika laughed, shaking her head fondly. 

"Sounds chaotic." Tzion snorted, taking another swig of her beer. "Did he give you anything before you left? I know the others gave you things to hold onto."

"Yeah, hold on." Velika tugged on the chain around her neck, drawing the dog tags into the firelight. "He gave me his tags from World War Two. I gave him my Praesidium tags. And I also stole his shirt." She pulled the collar of the red henley with a sheepish smile.

"Wasn't he the Winter Soldier?" The ex-sergeant asked warily. That familiar look of distrust in his eyes.

"Yeah." She tucked the dog tags back into her shirt and collected the photos. "But I was also Reaper."

"That's not that same, Velika. You didn't know what happened and you didn't have a choice." The ex-sergeant narrowed his eyes in concern.

"And neither did he. He fell off a cliff, lost his arm, and was brainwashed and controlled by Nazis for seventy years." Velika picked her bottle up and took a long drink. 

"Okay, I stand corrected. Apologies." 

"In any case, he sounds special," Tzion said, giving her a concealed knowing look. 

Velika stared distantly at the fire with a wistful smile. "Yeah, he is."

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Velika sat in the sand, arms wrapped around her knees. She stared up at the star-filled sky. The horizon blended and it was near impossible to see where the Ocean ended and the sky began. The stars were reflected in the water, which was still enough to appear glassy.

There were no constellations to make out, but that didn't stop her from trying. She connected the dots, making her own shapes and stories. A dolphin. A rose. A bunny with the full moon. Her hand played with Bucky's dog tags, fond memories of nights on the roof coming to surface. She missed them all, but she really missed Bucky.

Velika looked down at the photo of Bucky in her other hand. He was laughing at something stupid Sam had said, his eyes crinkled up and smile wide. It was her favorite photo of him and her heart skipped a beat. Her stomach fluttered and she smiled to herself. 

She returned her gaze to the sky with a new feeling in her chest. She realized what it was and although it scared her a little, she welcomed it.

 _Love_.

𝓨𝓸𝓾'𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰. 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's life isn't easy without her, but he's getting by. And he's getting better.

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𝓛𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮. {𝐿𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒}

Bucky glanced at his gloved hands, fingers laced as he rested his elbows on his knees. The waiting room was silent except for the receptionist taking calls from other patients. A diffuser puffed intermittently, spraying oils into the air. He recognized the smell of chamomile and lavender. It was meant to calm and relax people as they waited. Instead, it just made him more anxious.

He hated waiting in the open like this. He was lucky there wasn't anyone else in the waiting room with him and he was seriously considering leaving without even holding his appointment. The diffuser huffed out another dose of the anxious elixir. 

Steve had offered to come with him, but he didn't want his best friend to see how broken he actually was. In some ways, Steve glossed over the cracks and believed the front Bucky put on when he was having a rough day or week or even month. It had been especially worse now that Velika hadn't been around. 

"James Barnes?" A dark-skinned woman in a pair of jeans and a blue knit sweater called for his attention. She had a pair of thick-rimmed glasses pushed up onto her crown, holding her unnaturally and brightly colored box-braids back. Her eyes were a soft brown, which matched her soft and friendly smile.

Bucky stood slowly to not startle her and gave her the kind of smile people give when they hold doors open for others. 

"I'm Doctor Naomi Winters. It's nice to meet you, James." Naomi extended her hand to him in a manner that didn't pressure him to return it. He did, though, and shook her hand.

"Bucky, please." He kept his left arm at his side and still. 

"I'll make a note of that because I'm sure I'll forget in the next five minutes. It's been a long week. Come on back." Naomi rolled her eyes at herself and gestured with her head.

Bucky followed her down the hall. The walls were painted an awful beige color that reminded him of the sun-faded flour sacks he hauled down on the docks. Random paintings and pictures were hung between offices. Some were of plants and flowers, others were what he thought were meant to be inspirational quotes but really just sounded condescending.

Naomi opened a door to his right and invited him in, shutting it softly behind him. The room was a cool grey with paintings hung on one wall. A black bookshelf filled with various medical journals and alternative books was pushed into the corner. A plush rug in black was laid out across the floor, one edge of it hidden under a desk with a couple of computer monitors in sleep mode. A comfy looking grey couch was under the paintings and a chair by an end table sat opposite it. A deep red blanket was thrown over the back of the couch and a pair of decorative pillows sat against one of the arms. The room was dim, lit up by warm fairy lights in plastic jars. 

"If there's anything you need to make you more comfortable, please let me know," Naomi said, grabbing a file from her desk and sinking into the chair. 

Bucky nodded and sat cautiously on the couch, unsure of himself now that he was actually in the room with her. She picked up a pen and made a note at the top of the first page.

"Do you need a few minutes to get used to the room?" She asked, pulling her glasses down to rest low on her nose. She looked at him patiently over the top of them.

"I'm okay." He responded, voice much gruffer than he intended. He winced slightly and cleared his throat. "It's fine."

"Okay, Bucky. I glanced over your file and there's a lot to cover. We can start wherever you want and I won't push a subject if you tell me you don't want to talk about it in that session. I want this to be helpful to you and at your own pace," Naomi set her pen down and picked up a steaming mug on the table beside her. She wrapped her hands around it and took a sip.

Bucky nodded hesitantly. Where would he even begin? He furrowed his brow and dropped his gaze to the floor, eyes flickering over the threads of the carpet. There _was_ a lot to cover over his life and finding a place to pull the thread without unraveling the carefully woven web he'd created was more difficult than he expected.

"Alright, I have an idea. I can see you're having a hard time trying to find a place to start. We can start with the intro survey you filled out and talk about each section. This will allow me to help diagnose you properly." Naomi spoke softly and with an evenness that was already loosening the tension in his shoulders.

"Okay." Bucky nodded again, lacing his hands together again. 

"You checked most of the boxes for the anxiety parameters. Let's talk about that first." Naomi set her cup aside and took her pen up again. 

Bucky took a deep breath. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

"You okay, Bucky?" Steve checked in with him, putting a hand on his shoulder. They were between meeting people as the groups were being switched out.

"Yeah, why?" Bucky glanced at him before smiling to a fan who had called his name. He waved in the direction of the shout. The sea of people in line didn't let him pinpoint exactly who had said his name.

"I'm just making sure. It's a big crowd and it's a lot of people," Steve said, taking a step away as the next group of people were brought in.

"I'm okay. Promise." Bucky gave him a reassuring smile and had his attention diverted by one of the convention's staff. He greeted the person in front of him, making casual conversation and giving them a hug when they asked. He smiled for a photo, a warm feeling in his chest. 

People had been wary to accept him at first. He hadn't attended public events like this often. He would sit on panels and do interviews, but other than that, he never did meet and greets. After attending therapy for a few months, he had felt stable enough to attend a short one.

A small boy, maybe ten, approached him with wide eyes and a smile. His mother stood behind him, a hand on his shoulder. 

Bucky opened his mouth to say something when he noticed a pin on the boy's shirt. Immediately, he kneeled to be on the boy's level and pulled his sleeves up to the middle of his forearms. 

_"Hi!"_ Bucky signed.

The boy's eyes widened further in surprise. Even his mother seemed a little surprised. They had expected Clint Barton to know sign language since he was hard of hearing, but they really didn't expect Bucky Barnes, the ex-Winter Soldier, to know sign language.

" _Hi!"_ The boy beamed.

" _How are you?"_

_"Excited and happy to talk with you. How are you?"_

_"A little nervous. My sign is rusty. But happy to talk with you, too. What's your name?"_

_"My name is James."_

_"My first name is James, too. But everyone calls me Bucky."_ He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. " _What's been your favorite part about the con so far?"_

 _"Meeting you."_ James ducked his head sheepishly. _"Your arm is so cool! I really liked the-"_ James broke into a flurry of signs that Bucky couldn't keep up with. 

" _H_ _old on! Slow down, please. I can't understand at that speed."_ Bucky chuckled at his enthusiasm. It made his heart swell.

"S _orry. I got excited. I talk fast when I'm excited. I really liked the red star on your silver arm, but I know it was tied to really bad things in your past so I'm happy for you now that it's gone. Your new arm looks really, really pretty! I love the gold designs."_ James' enthusiasm wasn't dulled even with the slower signing. He was nearly bouncing on his feet.

 _"Thank you. I didn't design the appearance but I really like it, too. Shuri was excited the whole time she was fitting it. It's not as glitchy as the silver one, which means less time I have to spend around the compound missing an arm."_ Bucky wrinkled his nose up in mock disgust before chuckling. _"Did you see anything cool today or buy something from the vendors?"_

 _"I got this replica of your .... and meeting all of you guys was really fun!"_

Bucky furrowed his brow and looked to his mother, repeating the sign he didn't understand and asking for its meaning. 

_"Oh! Motorcycle. That's not a sign I've seen before. I usually fingerspelled it. Would you like to take a picture?"_

_"Yes, please!"_

"Do you mind if I use my phone to also take a photo?" Bucky verbally asked James' mother but signed as well so James could understand him.

"Go ahead!" 

A staff member took Bucky's phone from him and he wrapped his right arm around the boy. He held his left hand up with the sign for _I love you_ and smiled. 

James' mother counted down with sign and snapped a few photos. The staff member followed her lead. They handed Bucky's phone back to him and he nodded to them in thanks.

 _"Can I give you a hug?_ " James asked with a shy smile. Bucky opened his arms up and nodded. James threw his arms around his shoulders, squeezing tightly. Bucky squeezed him back, rocking from side to side slightly.

James' mother tapped James on the shoulder and signaled it was time for them to move on. James pulled back and waved, thanking Bucky. 

_"I love you, James. You're a superhero."_

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

Bucky wandered through the bookshelves, head tilted inquisitively as he read the titles. His hands were sunk into his pockets. He'd discovered this small bookshop with Velika on accident. They had been wandering through New York's downtown areas when the rain had suddenly started to pour down. They found shelter in the family-owned bookshop tucked between a thrift store and a business office.

He pulled a book that had caught his attention from the shelf, reading the synopsis curiously. He'd been reading a lot more, finding it enjoyable again. Usually, his mind would wander while reading, and his thoughts would be completely unrestricted. Now, he could read for hours and be uninterrupted by his intrusive thoughts.

The synopsis wasn't as intriguing as he'd hoped so he put it back in its place and continued down the row.

A scoff behind him interrupted the quiet calm of the shop, but he paid it no mind. He did step closer to the shelf in case it was someone wanting to pass behind him. He took up a good amount of space in the small aisles and didn't want to be a bad person.

"I see you're letting anyone in here." The voice was muffled, and obviously feminine, but he heard it clearly. Blame his superhuman hearing. 

"What do you mean, Loraine?" The owner, a kindly old Jewish man, asked in a gentle voice.

"You let a _criminal_ in here." She whispered. "He deserves to be in jail. Not browsing your shelves."

"He has done no harm and he is quite kind. You would know if you talked to him. He's a hero. He saved my mother from certain death when he was a Howling Commando. This bookshop wouldn't exist if not for him. If you are going to continue, then you will leave." The owner's voice was firm and the door slammed closed shortly after. "I'm sorry about her, Mr. Barnes."

"You don't need to be sorry, sir. It's completely alright. I'm used to it." Bucky rounded the end of the shelf with a soft smile.

"But you shouldn't be. You should not be judged on the actions you could not control but rather the actions you did. _That_ is what makes you the man you are." The owner extended his hand to Bucky.

"I have never asked your name." Bucky shook his hand firmly and smiled.

"Mendel Belenky. It is a pleasure to truly meet you, Mr. Barnes." Mendel said in a wistful tone.

"Please, just call me Bucky. Would you like to talk sometime about your mother and the war?" He offered, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

"I would love to, Bucky. And know you are always welcome in my store." Mendel's warm eyes crinkled up as he smiled. 

"Thank you."

"Now, I haven't seen that lovely woman that is usually with you in awhile. Did you two break up?" Mendel asked.

"Ah, no. We weren't dating. We're just friends. Velika is currently fighting on the frontlines of a war between her homeland and her birthland." Bucky explained, face flushing lightly.

"I do hope she comes home. And you finally ask her out." Mendel winked and returned to the counter. 

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅ 

𝓖𝓻𝓸𝔀 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓰𝓻𝓸𝔀. {𝒢𝓇𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓌}

"So, how has the last week been?" Naomi asked, settling in her chair with a sigh. She flashed him a genuine smile as she picked her ever steaming mug of tea up.

"I didn't have any nightmares. At all." Bucky grinned, a feeling a pride spreading through his chest. 

"That's great! That's really good!" Naomi's smile grew and she wrote it down on the notepad. "How many times did you feel overwhelmed or anxious this week?"

"Twice. I went on a mission Monday to Wednesday, so I was nervous beforehand. The second time was after I got out of the shower. I was thinking too much and it just hit me." Bucky stretched his right hand against his left, gloves tucked away in his pocket. He'd stopped wearing them as much in public.

"Any progress made is good. You were overwhelmed and anxious five times at the time of our last visit and you had two nightmares. I say that you're definitely getting better with every week." Naomi made another note. "Let's talk about fears this time since you mentioned feeling like you have irrational fears last time we met. Can you tell me more about that?"

"It sounds ridiculous, but I'm terrified of falling. Heights don't bug me, but falling? It scares me." Bucky sighed, leaning back against the couch. "Ever since I fell off the train and into that ravine, I just...I dunno."

"It's perfectly rational, Bucky. You fell something like five hundred feet. Anyone would be scared to fall after something like that," Naomi said.

"Jeez, you sound like Velika. She nearly said something identical to that a couple of years ago." Bucky smiled fondly at the memory.

"Tell me about that, then. And tell me about her."

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"Bucky, there's two on your tail!" Nat shouted from across the room before swinging herself around a guy nearly twice her height.

"Copy that." Bucky turned and engaged with the two men who had followed him. They weren't anywhere close to being a match for him. He continued towards the main server room, hand on the top of the pistol strapped to his right thigh.

"You guys have five minutes to get back out here before the charges go off. Get a move on!" Tony ordered through the coms.

"Yeah, yeah. We're movin' as fast as we can." Bucky ducked into a hall, firing rounds off at the people coming at him. He heard someone approaching from behind him but he wasn't concerned. 

A round went off behind him and an exasperated sigh followed. "Barnes, you nearly just got your head blown clean off. What the hell was that?" Natasha asked.

"I...thought Velika was here again. Thought she had my six." Bucky admitted in a quiet voice. Nat's expression changed and she patted his arm sympathetically.

"I know, Bucky. We all miss her."

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"You son of a bitch!" Sam howled, nearly coming across the kitchen table in rage.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something, Wilson? I couldn't hear you over the sound of all this money." Bucky dramatically fanned himself with millions of dollars worth of Monopoly money. He had a shit-eating grin as he watched Sam turn red in rage.

"He cheated. He had to have cheated." Tony threw his money onto the board in frustration.

"That's it. You're banned from playing Monopoly with us ever again." Nat threw a handful of popcorn at Bucky and he started laughing.

"Sleep with one eye open, Barnes. You're gonna pay for taking away my win." Sam fumed, crossing his arms.

"Whatever you say, Wilson. Whatever you say."

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𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰.

Bucky leaned his head back against the seat of the couch, emotionless gaze staring at the grey wall. He hadn't slept for the last two days and he was exhausted both physically and mentally. He'd been doing so well and suddenly it all fell apart. So here he was, sitting on the floor of his therapist's office.

Naomi settled next to him, reaching over his legs to set a mug of tea on the solid floor. She held her usual cup in her hand, sitting cross-legged and facing the wall with him. He wasn't ready to talk. He felt numb. Shattered. His arms laid limply in his lap and he stared blankly ahead.

"If you need anything, you just have to ask. When you're ready to talk, I'll be here. I've cleared the rest of my schedule so you can be here as long as you need." Naomi quietly broke the silence.

"You didn't have to do that," Bucky muttered, voice gravelly and hoarse. His gaze didn't waver from the grey wall.

"I didn't, but I felt it was the best option for you. I felt it was what you needed." Naomi took a sip of her tea. "I will be here whenever you're ready."

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Bucky felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out to check the notification. Rain tapped against the window, breaking through the soft jazz music playing from an old record player. He unlocked his phone and navigated to Instagram. A memory had popped up from two years ago. He clicked on it and couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face.

The photo was of him and Velika on the fallen tree above the river. She had her braid pulled over her shoulder, a bright smile on her face as she leaned against his shoulder to be in frame. His left eye was squinted because they were facing the sun, but he was smiling as well. _Today's adventure included nearly falling into a river because that one wanted to sit on a tree above the water._

"Let me see her," Mendel said, shifting his glasses further down the bridge of his nose. Bucky looked at him with mild confusion. "Oh, don't pretend it isn't her. I know that smile when I see it."

Bucky turned his phone around to show him the photo and Mendel smiled with a nod. "She is beautiful. An angel, yes?"

"You have no idea."

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Bucky laid on the roof with his left arm under his head, watching the stars. It wasn't the same without Velika, but it brought him comfort on the nights he couldn't sleep. He played with her dog tags as he stared, a slight smile on his lips.

"I love you, Velika," He whispered to the moon.

𝓨𝓸𝓾'𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰. 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A woman in uniform arrives at the compound and everyone knows what that means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should mention here as well: There's going to a prequel series to this titled "For Whom the Bell Tolls." And then a sequel after this series. :)

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𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓻𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓰𝓸

The woman straightened her pencil skirt with shaky hands. She had done four notifications in the last week and they hadn't got any easier. These people had been her friends and seeing the faces of their families and friends deepened the hole in her chest.

The large compound loomed over her, casting a shadow that would've been intimidating if she hadn't been to Hell and back many times. The glass doors were easy to open and the chill of the air conditioning made her shiver. She approached the receptionist's desk, a file held in the crook of her elbow. The official report did very little to explain what had happened and it wouldn't provide any comfort to those who lost her.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The receptionist asked with a smile.

"Hello. I need to speak with those on the Avengers team urgently," She said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"In regards to what?"

"Velika Dante King." The receptionist's smile fell and nodded.

"I'll page you through. Friday, please alert the Avengers to gather in conference room A."

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The moment Bucky walked into the room, he knew something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. His chest tightened and his stomach sank as the woman in uniform gave them all a sympathetic smile. He knew immediately what was happening and his heart pounded. 

"I am Lady Belial of the Office of Afterlife Services, but I am here as a representative of the Kingdom of Morningstar and Queen Lunara." Belial set a file down onto the conference room table, the Kingdom's seal printed on the front. A name was scrawled across the front: _Lt. Velika_

"What happened?" Bucky cut to the chase, surprised that he was able to speak at all. His throat was tight and his right hand was beginning to shake. This couldn't be happening. It was just a bad dream and he was going to wake up and everything was going to be fine.

"Bucky, who says anything bad happened?" Steve asked though he didn't sound convinced himself. He was just trying to calm him down.

"Because I know what this is, Steve. We both know what this is. We were in the military. It's a notification. So, what happened to her?" Bucky turned to the woman, an edge to his voice. He clenched his right hand to try and steady it. His nails dug into his palm to ground himself - a coping mechanism that Naomi had berated him for time and time again.

"The official report states that most of her unit went MIA on the southern front two days ago, but it's bullshit." Belial's shoulders dropped. "Two weeks ago, her unit went missing. We found most of them, but Velika is still MIA. If not found in the next week, we have to change her active status to inactive, announcing her killed in action. I'm so sorry."

Bucky felt his breath freeze in his chest and his throat closed up. He knew from the moment he'd stepped into the room that this would be the news delivered but there was something else about having it confirmed. He closed his eyes and willed himself to wake up. 

Wanda was wrapped in Vision's arms, crying softly. She'd already lost so much and it never got easier. Especially during the younger years of her life. Even as a young adult, now, she still continued to lose.

Sam had his arms crossed, eyes on the floor. A veteran like himself knew the chances that she'd turn up were low. He sniffed and scratched under his eye, acting like he wasn't about to cry.

"How close is the war to ending?" Tony asked, voice thick. He'd sunk into a chair after the news, no doubt thinking about how he was going to break the news to his spider-kid.

"In Earthen time, a few more months from my estimations. It's been thirteen years for us and we're all wanting it to end." Belial said.

"Isn't there something more you can do?" Natasha's brow was furrowed, tone sharp like she didn't believe the woman. 

"I'm so sorry. We're doing all we can but even then I don't know if it'll be enough. It's a large realm to cover and some of the fighting has even pushed into Purgatory." Belial sighed. "We do know they're moving her location from what her unit mates have said. If she's even in Hell or Purgatory anymore, that is."

Bucky dug his nails into his skin hard enough to nearly draw blood. He was sure he was the only one who really understood what that might mean. Velika's history with Heaven was very rocky and if she wasn't in Hell or Purgatory...he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to even consider it.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

"It's possible they took her back to Heaven. And if that's true, there's no getting her back because they'll either kill her or put her under their control again." Belial looked grim.

"How could you let that happen? You knew it was a risk and still called her to fight. _She_ knew it was a risk and she _still_ went! She _trusted_ that you wouldn't let it happen!" Bucky suddenly burst out, voice louder than he intended. 

"Buck, I know you're upset, but don't yell at her. She wasn't responsible for what happened." Steve placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder and he shook it off.

"I wish there was more I could do. I really do. I know what they did to her. I know what happened. But if it was her decision to go and fight, then you need to respect it. It was her choice." Belial said. "You understand, Sergeant Barnes."

"She was drafted. I enlisted. There's a difference. I chose to fight. She didn't." He said through gritted teeth.

"She knew when she asked for protection from the Kingdom that if they were to ever go to war, she would have to fight. She chose that." Belial matched his tone. "Just like every other fallen angel who asked for the protection of the Kingdom. It was the price she knew to pay for her freedom."

"What kind of bullshit system is that? She wasn't free. She has a bag under her bed with supplies in case she had to run. Run to protect _us_ because she was terrified someone would come for her and hurt the people she cared about." Bucky was shaking, anger surging through his veins. "That isn't freedom."

"The Kingdom would protect her."

"Just like they protected her from being taken on the battlefield?" Bucky shook his head in disbelief, tears pushing at his eyes. "She laid her life on the line to protect a Kingdom that didn't give a shit about her." He turned and left the room, ignoring Steve calling his name. He needed to be alone. 

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𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓰𝓸.

It had been three weeks since they'd been told of Velika's disappearance and two weeks since she was officially announced as killed in action. Two weeks since Bucky had left his room. 

Steve and Sam came to check on him occasionally, bringing him food and taking the barely touched plates with them. They never lingered long, sitting on the edge of the bed quietly and giving updates on the world around him. He had no interest in the world around him. Not now that she was gone.

"Buck, you have to get up sometime. I know it's hard, but you'll feel better if you just walk down the hall," Steve said during one of his visits, a hand resting on Bucky's calf. He hadn't tried to get him up and moving until the last few days, hopeful that they could just get him out of bed for a change. 

Bucky didn't say anything. He never did. He didn't trust himself to speak, afraid that if he opened his mouth, a sob would come out. He was so tired of crying and his head hurt constantly from dehydration. He couldn't bring himself to drink water to solve the issue. He could barely bring himself to eat most days.

"I know you miss her. We all do. But would she want you to waste away in your room like this?" Steve asked, patting his leg gently. He knew Steve meant well and came from a place of concern but he didn't want to hear it.

"Get out." Bucky croaked, eyes screwing shut. 

Steve sighed and quietly shut the door on his way out, leaving Bucky to his misery.

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Bucky stared blankly at the ceiling, spread out across his bed. He'd gotten up and showered at least, but that was all he could bring himself to do. _It's progress_. He thought. His therapist would've applauded him and hyped him up about it. 

That progress was quickly dashed when he saw her dog tags on the bathroom counter and it had caused him to spiral into a breakdown. He'd collapsed onto the floor in tears, clutching the only thing left of her in his hand.

When he'd gotten to his bed and found himself staring endlessly through the ceiling, he had no idea. But that's where he was when someone knocked.

The door opened and he blinked to clear his vision. That only pushed more tears down his face and he let them fall. He didn't want to put the energy into wiping them away. A weight settled on the edge of his bed.

"Hey, man. Just came in to say that Steve and Nat are heading to take down a base in an hour. There's a spot on the helicarrier if you want it." Sam said quietly. He'd always had a soft voice when he came in, which was a nice change from Steve's loudness. His best friend had always been louder than he'd intended, even when he tried to be quieter. 

Sam had been good company on the days that he wanted it. He had stopped teasing him as much, but he still poked fun at Bucky on occasion. Never for things like wearing the same shirt four days in a row or having his hair look like a mess when it hadn't been brushed in days or making comments when he did dare to venture out into the common areas. He still made fun of him for walking slowly in the halls or standing in a doorway for more than half a second or yelling at him when he sat in 'his spot.' He wouldn't admit it, but Bucky was really grateful for that.

"They'd like to have you join them, but if you don't feel up to it, that's okay. The Guardians have landed so Gamora has offered to fill in." Sam further explained in a casual tone that really eased his guilt of not wanting to go.

Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but a sob slipped out. He drew in a shuddering breath, taken off guard at his own vulnerability.

"Are you okay? I mean, I know you're not okay. But what's up?" Sam turned with a soft expression, gently resting his hand on Bucky's knee in concern. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I miss her," Bucky whispered, throat burning from holding back another sob. "I miss her so much."

"I know, buddy."

"We were s'posed to go out," Bucky turned his head to look at Sam, voice wavering. "We were s'posed to go dancin' or sight seein' and she was s'posed to tell me about her favorite constellation."

"Aw, man. I'm sorry." Sam gave him a sympathetic smile. "Have you talked to Naomi yet?"

Bucky shook his head. He'd canceled his appointments the last three weeks, but he figured it would maybe do him some good to see his therapist. 

He just didn't want to leave the compound and face the world without Velika.

"I'll call her office and see if she can do a house visit, okay? Do you want me to stay?" Sam asked. He always left the choice up to Bucky. Never wanted to intrude if he wanted to be alone.

Bucky nodded shakily, shifting to look back at the ceiling. 

"Aight, man. I'll stay until you tell me to leave."

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Bucky had ventured out into the common room on a brave day, spending his time idly watching whatever was on the tv. It was some reality show about a famous family and he could not care less, but it was just background noise that distracted him from his thoughts. He had his computer sitting on his lap and he was reading through some of the social media posts he'd missed. He scrolled past the fan works, not really paying them mind. People would do what they would. As long as he didn't know, he didn't care.

Peter came in after school had gotten out. He usually came after school on Fridays and stayed the weekend for training. He was humming along to whatever music he was listening to and set his backpack down on the table.

Bucky looked up, watching him bop along to his music, and head for the fridge to grab a drink. He shook his head fondly and scrolled down.

"Oh, hi. Uh...Mr. Barnes, I-I didn't see you there." Peter said awkwardly, pulling his earbuds out.

"Don't think you saw much of anything while you were headbanging there, kiddo," Bucky replied with a friendly smile. "How'd that test go? History, right?"

"Uh, yeah! U.S. History, specifically. We've been talking about World War Two, so I pretty much nailed it." Peter shrugged. 

"Helps to have us old farts around for your questions, huh?" Bucky had always found that conversation with the young Avenger came easy and even now in his very non-social state, it still flowed easily between them.

"Well, I mean yeah, but you're also fun to be around so it's really a win-win situation." Peter smiled and flopped down next to him on the couch. "Are you actually watching this?"

"Huh? Oh, no. It's just background noise. It was too quiet while I was just sitting here." Bucky looked up at the tv, brow furrowed. What an awful show. "If you want to change it, you can."

Peter grabbed the remote and navigated to one of the streaming systems. There was a bit of silence for a moment with intermittent _plinks_ as he switched between titles. He gasped softly, which drew Bucky's attention.

"They have the Princess Bride! I haven't seen that movie in so long!" Peter grinned excitedly.

"What's that?" Bucky asked, looking up at the picture onscreen. He read the synopsis and became intrigued.

"Only like, the _best_ movie ever? Have you not seen it?" Peter turned to him with a surprised expression.

"Uh, no. I think it was on the list that Velika...that Velika and I were working through." Bucky dropped his gaze to his laptop, the familiar ache in his chest returning. He missed her so much. The burning in his throat returned and he tried to hide how his breath hitched.

"Mr. Barnes, I know you miss her a lot...I do, too." Peter's tone changed immediately, becoming much softer and full of emotion. 

"It sucks," Bucky muttered, not trusting his voice too much.

"It really does." Peter fell quiet after that, knowing that words weren't going to help. 

Bucky was surprised when Peter pulled him into a hug. He turned and wrapped his arms around the boy. 

"You looked like you needed a hug."

"I did, kiddo. Thanks." Bucky couldn't remember the last time someone had just hugged him. Steve would give him a one-armed hug around his shoulders, and Sam would pat his back. Natasha didn't really like physical affection so he never could count on it from her. 

Peter didn't let him go until Bucky made the move to pull back. The hug had lasted long enough for the tv to go into sleep mode.

"So, you wanna watch it with me?" Peter asked, picking the remote back up.

"Is it worth it? Because Tony claimed The Fifth Element was the best movie ever made and that was a nightmare and a half." Bucky closed his laptop and leaned to put it on the coffee table.

"Mr. Stark is a tech genius. Not a movie genius." Peter grimaced. "The Princess Bride is fantastic. The book was even awesome." 

"Alright. You've sold me. Let me get a drink."

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"Hey, Bucky. I was worried when you canceled your appointments but Steve told me what happened when I came in. I'm so sorry." Naomi perched on the side of his bed, glasses pushed to the top of her head. "I know how much she meant to you."

"You really don't," Bucky muttered, drawing his knees to his chest. He was sitting up against the headboard. He'd been having better days recently, but the last week had been very rough on him.

"Do you want to tell me about that, then?"

"I am...was in love with her." Bucky looked up at her with a vulnerability even she didn't expect. He'd never told anyone other than Steve. It was strange to say, but it felt right. Except it made his chest tighten in grief. "And I never got to tell her."

"Bucky...I'm really sorry." Naomi shifted and sat cross-legged at the end of his bed. "That's awful. I don't actually know what to say."

"We were supposed to go out when she got back. I asked her out on a date and she said yes. I was gonna take her out dancing." Bucky continued, eyes falling to the bedspread sadly. "Except she can't dance to save her life. Anything more than slow dancing and she'll step on your toes. I wouldn't mind, though. As long as she was having fun."

Naomi smiled, nodding along as she listened. She wouldn't correct him on his tense usage. Not yet, anyway. "Would you be interested in taking me down the trail that leads to the river? A walk through the woods always helped me and I think you could use some fresh air."

Bucky thought about it carefully. He hadn't been out there since he'd lost her. Granted, he hadn't been out of the compound much since they were given the news. He'd just barely started coming out of his room more than once a day. But a walk through the woods sounded nice. So, he nodded and unfolded himself from his curled up position.

An hour later, a photo was posted on his Instagram of the fallen tree across the river. He hadn't been around on social media at all since the official notice of Velika's passing had been put out. His messages and notifications were filled with condolences and support. He hadn't the heart to read them yet. He put a lot of thought into the caption, thinking maybe to go simple and talk about his favorite memory with her.

Bucky decided to be honest. 

_It isn't the same without my girl who once made me face my fears head-on. Now I have to face them on my own. I wasn't ready then and I'm not ready now, but I know she'd want me to keep going and take the leap. Fearing the fall will only make you miss the landing._

_I didn't know what she had meant by that in the moment, but I understand now. I miss her every single day and I know several others do as well. My girl was special to me and to many people and losing her has been one of the most difficult things I've ever gone through._

_This place is not the same without her, but the view is still worth the risk of falling. A part of me still believes that she's out there, somewhere, fighting to get back. I don't know if it's worth it to let myself hang onto that small hope. I keep thinking that this is all a bad dream and I'm going to wake up. It's been nearly three years since she left to fight, and nothing hurts more than the promises she didn't get to keep. That hopeful part of me is going to keep waiting._

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Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The ocean in the distance washed against the shore steadily, like the beating of a heart. He could barely see the inky water in the soft moonlight. The salty breeze blew past him, rustling the grass sprouting from the dunes below the deck. 

Steve had decided that the team needed a retreat to take some time to recover. Being in the compound didn't give everyone time to heal from losing Velika, considering that everything around them kept moving on and there were daily reminders of the hole in their lives. A trip to a secluded beach had been his decision, which happened to be perfect as Tony brought up the fact he owned a private beach house in Greece.

The location only made Bucky miss her so much more. The stars twinkled back at him, but they had felt cold ever since he lost her. The constellations were not as friendly and intriguing as they had once been. He sighed again, pushing down tears. He was done crying.

It had been six months and they had received word that the war was over. Hell had won and her death wasn't in vain. Her brother had visited and could offer very little consolation before he had to leave to return to the business he ran. 

The pain hadn't gotten any better, but Bucky had learned how to handle the daily heartache he felt. He wondered if it would ever get easier or if he would forever feel like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. Missions had become a great distraction to help him focus on other things, but at night, he was left alone with his thoughts. Like tonight.

Footsteps interrupted the sounds of the night, which warned him of someone approaching. He figured it was Steve, Sam, or even Nat coming to try and bring him inside. He couldn't sleep, so he came out to try and quiet his mind and find some peace. He didn't turn around to find out who it was, knowing they'd either move into his peripheral vision or speak.

"Hey, Bucky." He knew that voice. His eyes widened and he picked his head up. He didn't want to turn around, afraid that if he looked, it would be a hallucination. His heart was hammering against his chest, blocking out the sounds of the waves as it beat in his ears. 

Against his better judgment, Bucky turned around and his breath caught in his throat. 

"It's been a long time." 

𝓛𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓾𝓼 𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets to confess his feelings before it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only thing left is the epilogue!  
> As mentioned in the last chapter, For Whom the Bell Tolls is a prequel to be written for this universe, but after I write a Bucky Barnes x Single Dad!Reader story called Mint Icecream & Bubblegum Kisses.

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𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷

_ "In my culture, death is not the end," T'Challa said before sitting next to Bucky. "But in yours, you believe it is the end, yes?" _

_ Velika's memorial was not a public event, only meant for the Avengers and their connected teams to lay her to rest. A public memorial was going to be held later in the week. It was a miracle Bucky had attended in the first place. His chest just felt hollow and he couldn't bring himself to smile at the stories everyone told. _

_ "I used to." Bucky cleared his throat, voice raw from not talking consistently for the last five weeks. "Until I met her." _

" _ She was unique. Proof that life continues on even after death. The mystery beyond the veil no longer as mysterious as it once was. Now, what do you believe?" T'Challa asked, turning to look at Bucky. _

_ "I don't know what's true, anymore. Thor proves the existence of Norse deities and afterlife. Velika proves...proved the existence of the Abrahamic afterlives. Which is really the right one on the other side?" Bucky sighed. _

_ "In my discussions with her, and in my beliefs, there is no right one. Like people, they coexist, and whatever you believe is your truth. Life is like a river, flowing and turning and making its own path. But a river always runs to a lake or a pond or the ocean. A river on one side of the Earth cannot run into a pond on the other side. Just as a person who believes in one cannot end up in the afterlife of another," T'Challa mused, staring up at the sky. _

_ "She never really talked about what happens to cosmic beings when they die. She mentioned a ceremony or ritual on occasion but never explained. Something about ending up in Purgatory if the ritual wasn't done right or done at all." Bucky tried to recall the late-night conversations of her homeland and traditions, but they were foggy. _

_ "Perhaps the ritual is meant to return their soul - or the equivalent - to the cosmos. And I suppose that is what happens to all of us, in the end. We are, after all, just stardust and stories." T'Challa squinted against the sun as it poked its rays through the clouds. _

_ "Did you just quote an Erin Morgenstern book?" Bucky asked, smiling just slightly for the first time in what felt like an eternity. _

_ "I did. Velika gave me the book after she had read it, demanding I read it as well and then pass it to Shuri. Shuri didn't enjoy it as much as I did," T'Challa returned Bucky's smile. "You've read it?" _

_ "I have. She lent it to me on a long flight to a mission. Pretty much finished it in one sitting." Bucky leaned back against the bench, shaking his head sadly. "It's never gonna be the same without her." _

_ "I wish I could say it will get easier. But my chest still aches with grief and my heart still breaks with loss when I think of my father. It doesn't get easier, but it will become easier to carry it. Now, it may feel like your chest is caving in and your heart will never piece itself back together and your shoulders are carrying the weight of a thousand worlds. But one day, the weight will lessen and your heart will slowly become whole and your chest will expand more with every breath." T'Challa rested a hand on Bucky's shoulder. _

_ "Never thought I'd be sayin' goodbye to her." Bucky grimaced, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Somethin' inside me is sayin' that she's still out there. I just have this feelin' and everyone's sayin' that it's false hope." _

_ "Then perhaps she is out there. We will not know until if or when she appears." _

_ Bucky fell silent, pushing down the tears that had started to prick at his eyes. He bit the inside of his lip and took a deep breath.  _

_ "If there is anything you need, please do not hesitate to call on us. You do not need to be alone in your fight." T'Challa stood and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. _

_ Bucky nodded and stared at the empty flower garden. The world was lonely and cold without her. _

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"Velika?" Bucky whispered, tears pricking at his eyes. He didn't care about crying anymore. If this wasn't a hallucination (his mind would be cruel if it was), then she truly was alive and in front of him. "Is...Is it really you?"

"Yeah. It's really me," Velika said with a watery smile. Her hair was loose behind her, wavy from the humidity. Her eyes were sparkling in the moonlight. A new scar traced from her left cheekbone down to her jaw. Her body was leaner yet stronger than he remembered.

"They said you were dead." Bucky looked her over, still not believing that she was standing in front of him. "You were captured. Gone. Missing. And then they said you were dead."

"My unit got captured. Half were found and broken out shortly after, but the other half of us had been moved to a different location. They found no use for anyone but myself and Tzion, so they let them all go," Velika explained. "We were moved from place to place at least once every other day, which made it nearly impossible for anyone to find us."

"Then...how did you get out? How are you here?" Bucky placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Tzion and I got bored of complying so we broke out." Velika cracked a smile. "It took us weeks on foot to make it back to our side. After we found another unit, the war ended in a few days so there wasn't time to alert anyone that we were actually alive."

"At least you had each other. Your brother stopped by a couple of days ago and he was still upset about losing you." 

"I just got topside yesterday and saw him. I had some injuries that needed to be taken care of and debriefing of the escape. Steve told me you guys were here. He was surprised to hear from me but I asked him to keep it quiet." Velika ducked her head shyly. "I wanted to see you on your own before showing up and revealing myself to everyone."

"I missed you so damn much." Bucky suddenly pulled her into a hug, clutching her tightly. Tears leaked onto his cheeks as he buried his face into her shoulder. "I was so scared that I'd lost you. A small part of me hoped you were still out there, but everyone was trying to get me to let that go. To move on."

"I missed you, too, Bucky. So much. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you." Velika rested a hand on the back of his head, eyes closing as she held him. "I fought so hard to get back. There were so many times I thought about giving up, but Tzion kicked my ass and kept me going."

"Remind me to thank her," He mumbled. "For bringing you back to me." Bucky gripped her tighter, smiling in relief. She was safe. She was here and in his arms. She made it back and everything was going to be okay.

"Thirteen long years of war and I'm finally home."

"God, there's so much I need to tell you. So much that happened." Bucky sniffled, voice thick with unshed tears.

"Later. There's something I need to tell you." Velika gently untangled herself and took his hands again.

"I need to tell you something, too. I thought I had waited too long and would never be able to say it." Bucky bit his lip nervously. Did he say it and risk ruining their friendship now that he'd gotten her back? He had regretted not coming to the revelation sooner.

"Let's say it at the same time." Velika grinned in a childlike manner, though her eyes held a hint of anxiety. "No, wait...I need to say it first."

Bucky nodded and swallowed his confession. He would tell her another time. Another day. It was enough to just have her here in front of him.

"I remember." Velika shakily said, her grin falling. "I remember things I couldn't before."

"What do you mean?" Bucky squeezed her hands lightly in comfort. She was trying to find the words.

"Whenever Razkiel, my old handler, activated Reaper, I would blackout. But you knew that already." She continued. Of course, he knew that. She'd told him a couple of years ago about her time as Reaper. "For as long as I can remember, there are just...spaces of time that I have no recollection of. Injuries I got that I don't remember getting and people no longer around that were before I went under. But I remember, now."

Bucky's eyes widened. "How much do you remember?"

"All of it." Velika looked up at him with something he couldn't identify behind her eyes. "I remember everything."

Bucky let her draw away and turn her back on him. Her shoulders were rigid and her head was hung low. Her hands curled into themselves, nails digging into her skin. She knew. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, quietly. "Why didn't you tell me that we knew each other?"

"Because we  _ didn't _ know each other. Not really. The Winter Soldier knew Reaper and Reaper knew Winter Soldier.  _ I _ didn't know  _ you, _ Velika." Bucky ran his hand through his hair. "I...didn't want you to think I had this idea of who you were based on something you aren't anymore. I should've told you, but then I...I guess I just didn't want you to feel like I do when Steve talks about things that I can't remember."

"You were  _ so _ familiar and I thought I was crazy. Thought I was making things up and pushing my hopes on finding  _ someone _ who understood what it was like. But all along, we'd met before." Velika laughed sadly, tilting her head up to look at the sky. 

"I'm sorry. I really should've told you. Honestly?" Bucky smiled half-heartedly. "I forgot about it. Because I was getting to know  _ you _ , Velika. There were times that you reminded me of Reaper, mostly when you kicked my ass -"

Velika giggled and shook her head at that, her smile finally returning and he was relieved.

"Or taunted me or teased me sometimes. And then I realized that it wasn't Reaper. The things I were seeing were snapshots of you shining through. And it was easy to pick apart the pieces and forget about Reaper and just see you as Velika Dante King." Bucky chewed the inside of his lip nervously, hoping that she would forgive him for keeping their shared past from her.

"I probably would've done the same thing. Well, I did, actually. I knew all about your history from reading things online and once I met you...guess I just did the same you did. Pieced together James Buchanan Barnes and forgot about Winter Soldier." Velika turned back to face him again. "I won't hold it against you."

"Good, 'cause I wouldn't know what to do if you did," Bucky gave her a lopsided grin to hide the truth behind his words. She rolled her eyes and gave his shoulder a light shove.

"You said you had something you wanted to tell me?" Velika tilted her head slightly.

Bucky froze. Could he ruin their friendship right now just because he'd missed her? He furrowed his brow and worried his bottom lip between his teeth. 

"Hey, if you don't want to tell me now, that's okay. I get it."

"I think I'm in love with you." Bucky suddenly blurted before his eyes widened in surprise. "I mean - I don't  _ think _ , I  _ know _ I'm in love with you and I've known for two years now." He tried to recover but it only seemed to be making it worse.

Velika stood silently, lips parted in shock, and her eyebrows raised. She was staring at him with an expression he couldn't read. 

Bucky felt panic rising in his chest. He hadn't meant to say that, and especially in such an awkward manner. He'd wanted to confess romantically or sweetly, not like a teenager with his first real crush. She still hadn't said anything and with every silent second, his panic only increased and made his heart pound.

"I'm sorry. That came out and I just didn't...I'm sorry if I've made things weird between us now and I get it if you want to be-"

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me, Barnes." Velika threw her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down.

Bucky pressed his lips against hers gently, one hand coming up to cup her cheek. It was just as he remembered, yet completely different. Her lips tasted like strawberry chapstick, but there wasn't the taste of salt from the ocean. She pressed closer to him, deepening the kiss and he could feel every emotion she was pouring into it. He wrapped his arm around her waist, realizing just how much he missed feeling her body against his.

He pulled away the moment he was desperate for air, leaning his forehead against hers. Her beautiful and chilling blue eyes fluttered open, followed shortly by a brilliant smile. Her hand had woven itself into his hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'm in love with you, too," Velika whispered against his lips. "Every time I wanted to give up, Tzion only had to remind me of you and how I still had to tell you that I loved you."

"When they told us you were gone, I was heartbroken. I kept thinking about how we were supposed to go on a date when you got back. How I never got to tell you that I loved you." Bucky muttered, tears pushing at his eyes again, but from happiness and relief this time. "It took us so long to figure this out, huh?"

"I kissed you in the Caribbean and then we just never talked about it." Velika giggled, gently rising on her toes to bump her forehead into his. "I think we knew, even way back in our brainwashed days."

"Is that a reference to Monte Carlo I hear?" Bucky asked with a smile. "Where you kissed me in front of a whole room of people and claimed we were engaged?"

"I was talking about Paris, but I guess Monte Carlo is also a good example." Velika leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. 

"What was Paris? I don't think I remember that one." Bucky asked curiously. "Were we working together on that mission?"

"We weren't working together officially. Our missions overlapped and we decided that teaming up was a good plan to get things done quickly. You cornered me in an alleyway after I took down my target." Velika explained, a hint of mischief and nostalgia in her eyes. "If I recall correctly, you picked me up and took me right in that alleyway."

Bucky's eyebrows shot up as she started to giggle at his expression. "What? Are you serious?" 

"Deadly. When Razkiel tried to trigger Reaper during my capture, Tzion interrupted when he got halfway through and pulled me back. I was  _ just _ far enough as Reaper to gain my memories back. Trust me, I was as surprised as you are." Velika grinned, still snickering at his shock.

"You're lying. You have to be. I didn't...I  _ don't _ remember that at all. We had  _ sex _ in an alleyway in Paris?" Bucky sounded incredulous and he straightened up. 

"We did. And on a rooftop in London. And in a motel in Cairo. A tent in Siberia. An abandoned warehouse in New Orleans." Velika listed, her smile growing bigger with every location. 

"I distantly remember Siberia. You were freezing and my body heat wasn't enough." Bucky mused, shaking his head. "The others, I don't remember. You know what I do remember, though?"

"What?"

"A promise you made me. About a certain constellation." 

"I did make a promise to tell you about my favorite." Velika untangled herself from him but took his hand.

"Want to go lay on the beach?" Bucky asked, lacing his fingers with hers.

"I'd love to." He pulled her down the boardwalk, barely sparing a glance at the house. He didn't see the light on in Steve's room or his shape in the balcony doors watching them.

Bucky settled in the sand, pulling her closer and she laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat and it made her smile. He kissed the top of her head and looked up at the sky. The stars and moon were friendly again.

"Before I start, I just want to explain why this is my favorite constellation. My ex-commander, who is sadly gone now, had a saying that based the mission of us Guardians. We were supposed to be a defense to protect the people and our ranks were great in number. If one Guardian fell, two more would take their place to make sure that position wasn't broken again." Velika laced her fingers with his metal hand.

"Cut one head off, two more will follow."

"Which, it's almost funny that my favorite constellation is the nine-headed Hydra. The world's an ironic place." Velika snickered, watching the stars in the reflection of his hand. 

"Well, I don't have the nicest associations with the Hydra...but I still love hearing your stories." Bucky placed another kiss to the top of her head.

"The Hydra, or the Sea Serpent, was a nine-headed creature that was the second labor assigned to Hercules..." Velika settled into their old routine, recounting the ancient story with a smile on her face.

𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼.


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ocean at the Edge of the World has a legend about it. And Velika decides to put it to the test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! This work is a gift to @fightmemacbeth (Tumblr), who is the whole reason I am in the Marvel Fandom in the first place. If it wasn’t for her constantly making references to the films (and Agents of Shield) for years on end, I never would’ve gotten fed up enough to just watch the MCU.   
> It’s also her fault I’m in love with Bucky Barnes. She started talking about Winter Soldier and I wasn’t remembering details of that film so I went back and rewatched the Captain America films. That was when I fell in love with Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier.   
> What I’m saying is: Thank you, Em, for showing me the wonderful thing that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe is.   
> Happy Birthday :) <3   
> I’m still not getting into Twilight.
> 
> That aside: the next work being written is a Bucky Barnes x Single Dad!Reader so stay tuned for that after the 26th :)

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𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯．．．

Velika dismounted her horse and landed in the black sand. Her hair blew wildly in the breeze, her skirt billowing around her legs as well. She smiled as Bucky slid off beside her, a breath of amazement leaving him.

The Ocean at the Edge of the World was just as beautiful as she had remembered, if not more. The crystalline blue ocean reflected the setting sun, which painted the sky all sorts of fiery colors. The black sand was warm from the heat of the sun.

"You weren't joking," Bucky whispered, eyes wide. He looked out at the ocean to where it disappeared into the horizon. "It's gorgeous."

"I know. I had never been here before the war, but it was the perfect spot to camp for a few days." Velika took the horse's reins from him, leading them down the beach to the tidal pools, which held fresh water for them to drink from. 

Bucky followed her, eyes trained on the ocean. His hair was tied in a low bun, but a few stray pieces framed his face from where they'd fallen out. 

"Once I get the horses settled, we can watch the sunset and wait for the stars to come out." Velika tied the horses to a post, petting their muzzles. They snuffled at her and bent their heads to drink from the pools. 

Bucky pulled the packs from the horses and swung them over his shoulder. She reached for his hand and twined her fingers with his, starting back down the beach.

"This really is a beautiful place," Bucky said wistfully. 

"Just wait until the sun goes down and the stars come out." Velika smiled and tugged him closer to the water. They stopped and rolled out a blanket. She slipped her shoes off and ran to the water's edge, her hair flying behind her. She slowed and let the waves wash over her feet and she smiled broadly.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to her cheek. He swayed her slightly, smiling as she laughed. "Your eyes are the same color as the water."

"My eyes are a lighter blue, darling. The water is turquoise. Or cerulean." Velika leaned back against his chest, looking up at him with an amused smile.

"You think so?" Bucky mused, glancing between the water and her eyes. "Yeah, I think you're right." He leaned down and kissed her gently, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek.

Velika laid a hand over his, pulling back after a moment. "You know, this was where I realized I was in love with you."

"Really?"

"Mhmm. During the war, when we camped here. I sat on the shore and stared at the stars. And I just knew." She turned back to look at the horizon. 

"Remember that cove in the Caribbean we found?" He asked, resting his chin on her shoulder. The water washed over their feet, conforming around their ankles without care and greeting them like old friends.

"The one where I dragged you into the water in our underwear?" Velika rested her hands on his where they were wrapped around her waist.

"That's where I knew. Steve and I were out there to clear the base you and I reconned. It was while you were gone and I was missin' you like crazy. He and I just talked for hours and suddenly I just  _ knew _ ." Bucky hummed in her ear, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

"I love you," Velika said.

"I love you, too," Bucky whispered.

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The stars eventually began to fill the sky, twinkling brightly like they were laughing. The horizon entirely disappeared as the reflection on the Ocean made it nearly indistinguishable of where the sky ended and water began. It was still impossible to make any sort of constellation, but that didn't stop them from trying. A dolphin. A rose. A bunny with the moon. 

Velika laid with her head on Bucky's chest, curled into his side. He rubbed circles on her hip with his thumb, other arm folded under his head. She sat up, rifling through the bags quietly.

"Whatcha doin', doll?" Bucky asked, rolling onto his side to watch her. 

"There's a legend about this Ocean and I figured we could put it to the test while we're out here." Velika drew a marker and flat stone out with a smile. 

"I'm intrigued." Bucky propped his head up with his elbow with a lopsided grin.

"Legend has it, Fate herself made this Ocean. If two lovers write their initials on either side of a stone and throw it as far as they can into the Ocean, the stars will tell them if Fate decrees they should be together. Legend says that every star in this sky were created by lovers casting stones in. A new star will join the sky if the lovers are meant to be." Velika explains, shifting to her knees. She writes her initials - V. D. K. - onto the stone and holds them out to Bucky.

Bucky took the marker and stone, turning it over to write J. B. B. by the light of the full moon. He got to his feet, helping her up and walking with her down to the water's edge. 

"Would you like to throw it?" He asked, tucking the marker into his pocket.

"You do the honors, baby." She responded, stepping back to give him space. 

Bucky brought his arm back and threw the stone as far as he could. The surface of the Ocean was barely disturbed. 

Velika wrapped her arms around his torso, laying her head on his chest. His arms fell around her waist, resting his chin on the top of her head. 

The Ocean's waves were steady, like Bucky's heartbeat. She watched the sky, waiting to see if the legends were true. The stars twinkled back at her, winking and blinking like they were excited. 

Velika grinned suddenly and pulled him down to kiss her. She stood on her toes, throwing her arms around his neck to hold him tight. He smiled into the kiss. 

A new Star sparkled brilliantly above them, reflecting in the Ocean.

𝓞𝓬𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼


End file.
